Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I AM A MUSLIM GIRL AGED 22 YEARS.1 YEAR BACK ONE NON-MUSLIM MAN PROPOSED TO ME, BUT I SAID NO TO HIM.STILL WE USED TO CONTACT EACH OTHER ON PHONE THROUGH MESSAGE ONLY.HE LOVES ME TRUELY AND WE HAVE NEVER MET SINCE THEN. I LOVE HIM TOO.ONE DAY WE MET AND KISSED EACH OTHER, SINCE THEN I AM FEELING VERY MUCH GUILTY OF MYSELF THAT WHY I KISSED HIM, A NON-MUSLIM, HE IS HARAAM FOR ME, I KNOW, BUT I WANT SOME SOLUTION, HE IS AN ATHIEST BY THE WAY DOESNT BELIVE IN HIS RELIGION ALSO(HINDUISM) BUT GIVES INTEREST IN ISLAM. I HAVE GIVEN HIM QURAN`S TRANSLATION TO UNDERSTAND ISLAM.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? IF HE CONVERTS TO ISLAM, SHOULD I MARRY HIM OR NOT?
AND IF HE DOESNT CONVERT HOW SHOULD I PROTECT MY FEELINGS FOR HIM?
PLS GUIDE ME, I REALLY NEED HELP.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221:
221 Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters) until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an disbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor marry (your girls) to disbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than a disbeliever even though he allure you. Disbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness and makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they may celebrate His praise.
It is not lawful and categorically forbidden and prohibited in Islam for a believing woman to marry a disbeliever, unless they believe first. If the person declares the shahaadah or testimony of faith regarding the absolute Oneness of Allah Subhanah and the appointment of Prophet Mohamed (saws) as Allahs Last and Final Messenger.that person will be a considered a muslim in the Sight of Shariah Law; and all the rights that are due to a believer will be accorded to the person in full. Such a person can marry amongst the believers, can visit the Sacred Mosques, he/she will be given a muslim burial, his/her legal believing heirs will inherit from them, etc.
Your Question: IF HE CONVERTS TO ISLAM, SHOULD I MARRY HIM OR NOT?
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'
If the person, of his own free will reverts to Islam, and you and your guardians are completely and thoroughly satisfied with the character and practice of Islam of the person, your guardians are well within their rights to give your hand in marriage to the revert brother.
But if for any reason the person does not wish to revert to Islam, it would be forbidden for a believing woman, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, to seek to marry any but a believer.
Your Question: AND IF HE DOESNT CONVERT HOW SHOULD I PROTECT MY FEELINGS FOR HIM?
If the disbelieving person of his own free will and choice does not wish to revert to and accept Islam as his way of life, it would not be lawful for you as a believing woman to seek to marry him. Such a marriage would hold absolutely no legal basis in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Respected sister in Islam, if indeed you fear Allah and the standing in that Tumultuous Tribunal of the Lord on that Inevitable Day of Justice..you are duty bound as a believer to submit your will and your desire to the Will of your Lord Who created..that would be akin to piety and righteousness on your part in the Sight of your Lord.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 79 Surah Naziat verses 34-41:
34 Therefore when there comes the Great Overwhelming (The Day of Judgment)
35 The Day when man shall remember (all) that he strove for
36 And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see
37 Then for such as had transgressed all bounds
38 And had preferred the life of this world
39 The Abode will be Hell-Fire;
40 And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (Tribunal) and had restrained (their) soul from lower desires
41 Their abode will be the Garden.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,