Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamualikum, My age is 17 and I am in a deep relationship with my cousin and i want to marry her. I am not upto anything illegal like shaking hand,hugging etc., I love her with my whole spirit and i lower my gaze(on other women) all the time because i am satisfied with her. My question is can i talk to her before marriage?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Can one meet before marriage?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

There is absolutely no harm if one is attracted to a non-mehram believing woman, as this is a natural phenomena; but the one who is blessed with the guidance of Islam acts righteously and differently than the ones who do not fear Allah!   The righteous thing to do is either talk to the girl’s father or brother or any male mehram guardian of the girl, and in an honest and straight-forward manner request them that you seek to marry the girl.  Alternatively, you could talk to your parents or guardians and tell them to talk to the girls parents and seek her hand in marriage.  That would be considered a deed of righteousness in the sight of Allah Subhanah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan