Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

ASLAM-O-ALIKUM

i want to ask a question from u and i hope u will answer it as early as possible in the light of islam.

i am engaged with my cousin. we used to talk to each other on fone regulraly. one she told me that there is no such thing as engagement in islam. and it is not permitted by islam that we can talk.

so i want to ask that can we talk to each other or not. if not then can we talk via sms.

i am in great confusion so plz help me out i hope u understand what i am trying to say.

hope to hear from u soon

FI AMAN ALLAH

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Answer:

Talk and engagement

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, an ‘engagement’ between a man and a woman to marry has absolutely no legal basis or standing in Shariah, and the man and the woman will be considered non-mehrams to each other until their actual ‘nikaah’ is performed.

Unless and until their ‘nikaah’ is performed, all the restrictions and limitations and commandments that are prescribed in the Quran and Sunnah between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex must be honored and followed by those who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day.

Your Question: and it is not permitted by islam that we can talk. so i want to ask that can we talk to each other or not. if not then can we talk via sms.

Islam has permitted the believing man and the believing woman who wish to marry each other to meet and talk before they marry, if they wish to do so; with the absolutely obligatory condition that the woman be accompanied by her mehram relative (her father, or her uncle, or her adult brother, etc.)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

It would be absolutely impermissible for a believing man and a non-mehram believing woman who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to casually meet or talk in private alone before their marriage, either physically or through medium of phones, internet, sms, etc.

A better, purer, lasting and absolutely lawful solution between two people who are ‘engaged’ to marry, and cannot or do not wish for any reason to marry and live with each other immediately, or wish to delay their marriage for any reason whatsoever….but wish to lawfully meet, talk, and ‘date’ each other is to convince their parents to perform the legal ‘nikaah’ between them now, and solemnize the actual marriage at a later convenient date. This way the boy and the girl are legally married in the Sight of Shariah, and everything that would be lawful to a couple in marriage would be lawful to them….and thus they can lawfully meet, talk, and associate with each other to their heart’s content without any restrictions whatsoever.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan