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 [Q: I am getting confusion of mehram & non-mehram members. Please give me a clear idea about it with giving examples.

Marriage is Haram with 'only grand parents blood relation' or, 'only having milk relation'?

I am a youngest son (28) of my family, still having elder brothers & sisters to get marry. Is there any sin/ mistake in Islam, if I get marry before of my elders, with / without having their permission & also a non- acceptance of my parents.]

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Answer:

Mehrams and marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: I am getting confusion of mehram & non-mehram members. Please give me a clear idea about it with giving examples.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 22-23:

And do not marry at all those women whom your father had married, though what has happened in the past is excepted. This is an indecent and abominable thing and an evil practice.

Forbidden to you are your mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal aunts, maternal aunts, brother’s daughters, sister’s daughters, your foster mothers who have given suckle to you, your foster sisters who have taken suckle with you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives whom you have brought up, the daughters of your wives with whom you have conjugal relations, and it is not sinful for you to marry their daughters (after having divorced them). Also forbidden to you are the wives of your sons who are from your loins, and it is unlawful for you to keep two real sisters as wives at one and the same time, though what has happened in the past is excepted, for Allah is indeed Forgiving, Merciful.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.166 Narrated by Aisha

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘All (those) relations which become ‘haraam’ because of blood are (also) ‘haraam’ because of the corresponding foster suckling relations.’

The Arabic term ‘mehram’ is derived from ‘haraam’ which literally means something which is sacred, or sacrosanct, or prohibited. In the terminology of Islamic Jurisprudence a ‘mehram’ relative is generally one to whom marriage is absolutely and permanently prohibited; and a ‘non-mehram’ is generally one to whom marriage is permissible.

Beloved brother, for the moment we will provide you with only a general list where ‘almost’ all the mehrams are included.

List of Mehram of the woman:

1. Husband
2. Father (includes grand father, great grand father, great great grand father, etc.)
3. Sons (includes sons’s and daughter’s sons, grand sons, and so on)
4. Brother ( includes brother’s sons, their sons, and so on)
5. Sister’s sons (includes sister’s son’s sons, their sons, and so on)
6. Paternal and Maternal uncles
7. Son in law
8. Father in law
9. step father (from the day the step father conjugates with one’s real mother)
10. step sons (from the day the wife conjugates with the real father of the step sons)
11. All the men who (in their infancy) have shared the suckle of the woman she suckled with in her infancy.

List of Mehram of the man:

1. Wife
2. Mother (includes grand mother, and so on)
3. Daugther (includes son’s and daughter’s grand daughters, and so on)
4. Brother’s daughters (includes their daughters, grand daughters, and so on)
5. Sister (includes their daughters, grand daughters, and so on)
6. Paternal and Maternal aunties
7. Daughter in law
8. Mother in law
9. Step mother (from the day the step mother conjugates with one’s real father)
10. Step daughter (from the day the husband conjugates with the real mother of the step daughters)
11. All the women who (in their infancy) have shared the suckle of the woman he suckled with in his infancy.

Your Question: I am a youngest son (28) of my family, still having elder brothers & sisters to get marry. Is there any sin/ mistake in Islam, if I get marry before of my elders, with / without having their permission & also a non- acceptance of my parents.]

There is absolutely no condition or restriction in Shariah if one who is a younger sibling (boy or girl) in the family chooses to marry before their elder brothers or sisters.

Although there is no specific requirement or obligation for a male in Shariah to obtain his parents permission or approval for marriage; if one discreetly marries without informing their believing parents, or marries someone whom their believing parents disapprove of….indeed such an act would be against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), and absolutely unbecoming of the character of a believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Greatest sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3653 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr

The Prophet (saws) said, "An undutiful son, a gambler, one who casts up what he has given, and one who is addicted to wine will not enter Paradise."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan