Husband forcing to break ties with family
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamalaikum my brother.I come to you with great pain and sadness and hope that you could help me inshallah.I 've been married for 7 years ,from the start my brother in law was creating arguments between me and my husband concerning my family so my husband forbid me to see them.You see i lost both of my parents and only have my brothers and sisters so it kills me not to see them.I was pregnant and ill we separated for a month but he promised me that everything would be fine and back to normal so i decided to go back to him for my child. But on the advice of his brother he forced me to cut ties with all of my family.Scared and confused i had to obey i pray to Allah to give me sabr and strenght for my children but it is really hard.I speak to my brothers and sisters on the phone without my husband knowing.Please tell me if he is allowed to do so and what should i do?What about my brother in law who is the instigator of all of my problems.We live in a separate house but my brother in law controls everything from money, to where we go,who we talk to!he doesn't let my husband spend time with our children.May Allah forgive me for anything wrong i said and please brother help me and make dua for me.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sister the situation in your life is very sad indeed. The only solution we can think of is that you will have to bear this with patience. If your husband is generally not a bad person, we assume that he cannot take decisions for himself. Sister, this phase will also pass. If the finance is controlled by your brother in law then it is obvious he will call the shots.
If you want to save your marriage, you should be kind to your husband and try to please him always. Slowly he will start appreciating your efforts and then gradually you can help in building his self respect to face your brother in law and voice his rights without fear. Your children will also grow up and InshaAllah Allah swt will bring in the right change. All this while you must make supplications to Allah swt for His help and blessings.
Sabr is the one ting that will bring you success. This is your test and you have to be strong for your children and husband.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline