Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

dear mr. burhan

assalalmo alaikum

my question is:

is it a sin if a girl doesnot marry inspite of the proposal. there is a spinster plus 40 now , 20 yrs back she was engaged and the boy broke the engagement after a year. she was very upset after few years she got proposals but she didn`t like the boys so she refused, people say when she dies, her janaza will be heavy.................... after hearing this the lady is scared and upset. could you pls. highlight on it so i can convey her the message.

thanks a lot

a sister

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Answer:

Is women marriage obligatory

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: is it a sin if a girl doesnot marry inspite of the proposal.

Marriage in Islam is not obligatory, but rather a ‘mustahab’ or preferred and absolutely encouraged Sunnah; thus if one chooses to marry and fulfills the rights of marriage, one will have his/her due rewards from Allah Subhanah, and if one chooses not to marry, there is no sin upon the person.

But if one, regardless of whether man or woman, fears that they will not be able to maintain and protect their chastity, then the majority of the scholars are of the opinion that it would become ‘wajib’ or obligatory upon such a person to marry. But if one is able to control one’s natural physical desires, and chooses not to marry, that is an individual decision and there is no harm and no sin.

Your Statement: people say when she dies, her janaza will be heavy....................

Misguided people of the world in general have formed two opinions about marriage:

1. One is he who says that piety is that one should abstain from marriage (like the pagan monks, some Hindu and Christian priests, etc.)
2. And the other who say that marriage is absolutely obligatory and the one who does not marry is a grave sinner!

The ‘deen’ of Truth, Al-Islam, encourages the believers, men and women, to marry; but left the choice to the individual. If one wishes to marry, it is his choice; and if one wishes to remain single, it is their own individual choice!

Whatever will happen to one after one’s death is from amongst the knowledge of the ‘unseen’; and our only access to what will happen in Truth in the ‘unseen’ has to be from only the two sources of Truth, that is, the Quran and the Sunnah!

Allah is our witness, there is absolutely nothing in the Quran or the Sunnah where it is declared that a person who chooses not to marry is a sinner, or that the ‘janaza’ of a person who exercise this right not to marry will be heavy!!! These are self-invented and absolutely baseless and false judgments given by ignorant people, and are not to be believed or feared in the least!

On the contrary, people who give such judgments of the unseen without evidence from the Quran and the Sunnah must be reminded to fear Allah; for Allah Alone has an Exclusive Right to declare, through His Revealed Books or through His appointed Messengers, what exactly will transpire in the events of the ‘unseen’.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan