Man wants to marry again but fears
Mu'meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi
wa Barakatuhu. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Sir I am in a strange situation and utter confusion. I hope you
can help me to find the answer to this.
I am 26 and i got married 2 months back. Now the i girl i
got married to is my cousin and is unable to see. Thus can not fullfil household responsibilities toward me. Now i knew this and i took her in my nikkah in good faith that Allah will help me.
Now i know another lady for whom i
have allot of feelings and affection. And i believe
she is the one who can give me a nice home and can help me to make my life
better on the earth and in Akhirat and that she can
bring up kids in islamic manner.
She has been married to another person, and has now been divorced. She has two
young kids. Then she has lost her parents and has no brother or sister to take
care of her. The way i feel for her it is not
possible for me to live a life in which she is alone and facing hardships of
life.
Please suggest me if it is fine for me to divorce my wife and get married to
her because she is the one for whom I have love and affection. And for my wife i only have feelings of sympathy and i
feel i will never go out of the way for her and take
her with me side by side in the matters of life.
Or you suggest i should get married to the second
lady while keeping my wife with me, but this seems too hard to me because keeping
in view that i have allot of affection for second
lady it will be hard for me to be 100% just to both of them.
Or what, in your opinion, is the right way for me in this
situation. None of these sollutions sound ideal, but
how can i save most. My own life is not of that
importance to me, but i want that both of them can
have a life with security, happiness and respect.
Please do not publish this question on the web and reply me as soon as
possible. I will be very grateful.
(There
may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum
does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from
our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
Man wants to marry again but fears
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and
ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and
whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness
that there is no one (no idol, no person,
no grave, no prophet, no
imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone,
and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of
His Messengers.
To marry a blind woman, with the intention of helping and supporting her, is indeed a noble and righteous deed deserving of a huge and unending reward from Allah Subhanah. Our humble advise to you since you have already married her, is to not lose this opportunity to earn a huge reward from Allah Subhanah for your very righteous and noble deed. But if you do chose to divorce her, there will be no sin upon you.
If you have feelings for the other woman, who is a
divorcee and a mother of two;
there is absolutely no harm in keeping your first wife and taking
this woman as your second wife. Allah
Subhanah knows the condition of each of His slaves, and will reward you in this
world and the Hereafter for your noble deeds.
It would be best if you could keep the first wife, and
marry the other woman as your second wife; thus giving both of them the honor and
respect they deserve.
Your Question: Or you suggest i should
get married to the second lady while keeping my wife with me, but this seems
too hard to me because keeping in view that i have
allot of affection for second lady it will be hard for me to be 100% just to both
of them.
Beloved brother, when Islam commands that a man be just
between his wives, it means that a man must practice equality and justice in
worldly matters between his wives with his allocation of time, resources, and
money. It is only natural that a man may
love or have more affection for one of his wives more than the other; and Allah Subhanah
will not hold you accountable for this natural condition of your heart.
What man will be held accountable for is doing justice and
equality between his wives in the worldly matters which are in his absolute
control: the allocation of his time, resources and money.
It is only when the husband spends more time with one wife
and neglects the other, or spends more resources on one wife and withholds from
the other, that he will be called in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah to
account for his injustice and inequality between the treatment
of his wives.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan