Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salam,
i wantd to know that one of my friend got married to a boy secretly with all 3 conditions of shariah accepted.but as i said it was love marriage they had to do witout brides parents concern.but after marriage the brides parents accepted it.what is d condition or wat does islam say abt dis?they married secrectly coz with parents concern it was imposibl 4 dem to get married.if it was or stil is a sin is there anyway they can b compensated?plz clarify. 

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Answer:

Married secrtly

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5 …. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Beloved Sister, the guidance of Islam Commands and Demands that the believers marry desiring chastity, not lewdness and secret intrigues! It is only those who are inclined towards the heinous and abomination of the evil of ‘zina’ who develop lewd and secret intrigues; for the sacred institution of marriage in Islam is a public affair whereby one is guided and commanded to openly declare one’s sacred association of marriage to the society one lives in by offering the ‘walima’ or marriage banquet or feast.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.395 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) seeing a yellow mark (of perfume) on the clothes of 'Abdur-Rahman bin 'Auf, said, "What about you?" 'Abdur-Rahman replied, "I have married a woman with a Mahr of gold equal to a date-stone." The Prophet (saws) said, "May Allah bestow His Blessing on you (in your marriage). Give a wedding banquet, (Walima) even with one sheep."

To marry ‘secretly’ is to make a mockery of the sacred rite of marriage in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

The absolutely obligatory conditions for a ‘nikaah’ to be legal and valid in the Sight of Shariah Law are:

1. Proposal by one party and acceptance by the other.
2. The determination of the ‘mehr’.
3. The presence of (at least) two witnesses.
4. The consent of the ‘wali’ or parents/guardians of the bride.

There is a difference of opinion amongst the jurists in Islam whether or not the ‘consent’ of the parents of the bride is an obligatory condition of marriage; the absolute majority of the scholars and the jurists in Islam are of the opinion if the parents of the bride are believers, their consent is obligatory, while some others are of the opinion that if the bride appoint a ‘wali’ (guardian) to give her hand in marriage, the marriage would still be regarded as legal in the sight of Islamic Law. And Allah Alone Knows Best.

Your Question: …..if it was or stil is a sin is there anyway they can b compensated?

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give another woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage; for (it is only) the immoral woman who gives herself in marriage."

If the parents of the bride happen to be believers, and the bride chooses to arrange her marriage without the prior consent of her parents, without an iota of a doubt, such an act would be considered a manifest transgression of the rights of one’s parents and thus a grave and heinous sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 151:

151 Say: "Come I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited you from": join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents: kill not your children on a plea of want; We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not nigh to shameful deeds whether open or secret; take not life which Allah hath made sacred except by way of justice and law: thus doth He command you that ye may learn wisdom.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

Beloved sister, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance Islam has laid upon its followers in being dutiful and obedient to one’s parents.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.”

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

To join others in worship with Allah,

To be undutiful to one's parents,

To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

And to give a false witness."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3653 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr

The Prophet (saws) said, "An undutiful son, a gambler, one who casts up what he has given, and one who is addicted to wine will not enter Paradise."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

…who said that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.9 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr

The Prophet said, "Al-Kaba'ir (the Biggest Sins) are: “To join others (as partners) in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents,and to take a false oath."

Dear and beloved sister, marriage is but a voluntary deed in Islam, but to obey and be dutiful to one’s parents is an absolutely obligatory duty of each and every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.

To disobey or be disobedient to one’s parents would not only be a ‘big sin’ ….. Allah is our witness sister, it would be an absolutely humungous crime and abomination in the Sight of the Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme! Such is the gravity of this abomination and sin of being disobedient and/or undutiful to one’s parents, that in the hierarchy of the Gravest of all Sins in Islam, this sin is second only to the sin of ‘shirk’ (associating other gods with Allah) in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!!!!

Your Question: …..is there anyway they can b compensated?

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

As grave and heinous the sin of disobeying or intentionally hurting one’s parents may be in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, if one sincerely turns to Allah Subhanah in ‘taubah’ and seeks sincere repentance, and strives their utmost to amend their conduct by seeking the forgiveness of their parents and serving them for the rest of their lives….it is expected that they will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan