Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As Salam alay Kum Brothers and Sisters,

My question is, I would like to know when a male muslim always and always, when ever he had praid to Allha, he said I want a wife that is Shrif and who never had a Gare Mehrob in her life, some one who is Pakiza in all aspects regarding to Obey Allha and only Allha, and when you find out your wife is not a Vergin she had some one else in her life without the wright way which is by getting married, and you know that because of your wife you may not be able to go on the wright path, as you were before, what should you do then?

plese do reply to me. 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Wife not chaste

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘Every son of Adam is a sinner; and the best (or most loved in the Sight of Allah) are those amongst them who constantly turn to Him in repentance.’

Beloved Brother in Islam, every person has a past, and if per chance the woman you chose to marry liked someone else or had a relationship with someone else before she married you, and she has subsequently repented to her Lord and sought His Forgiveness, the Lord Most Merciful will wipe out her sin from her ‘Book of Records’.

If your wife has sought sincere repentance from her Lord, and since her marriage to you has feared Allah and been absolutely chaste and faithful in her marriage, it would be prudent for you to overlook and forgive what happened in the past before she married you. Beloved Brother, when someone seeks sincere repentance from Allah, He has promised them complete forgiveness; and just as we wish that our past sins are forgiven by our Lord Most Merciful, should we too not overlook and forgive the shortcomings of our fellow human beings and loved ones?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 22:

22 …..: let them forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 42 Surah Shura verse 43:

43 But indeed if any show patience and forgive that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.

Beloved Brother, if your wife has sought repentance from her Lord for her past deeds she did in ignorance, and has since been faithful to you since her marriage; and you do not fear any transgression on her part in the future….it would be prudent of you to show patience and forgive her, and concentrate on strengthening your relationship with her in your sacred bond of marriage. If you can bring yourself to overlook her past, show patience, and forgive her, it will indeed be recorded as a great deed and virtue in your Book of Records with your Lord Most Gracious.

But if you fear that your wife might re-kindle her old relationship, or you cannot bring yourself to forgive and overlook what she did in ignorance in her past….and the thought that she had a relationship with someone else in the past would jeopardize your conduct and relationship with your wife….as an absolutely last option, there is no harm if you sought a divorce from her.

As your brothers in faith and your sincere well-wishers, our humble advice to you would be to fear Allah, bring yourself to overlook and forgive whatever has happened in her past before she married you, and save your marriage. It is expected that Allah Subhanah will reward you and bless you for your generous attitude.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan