Marry the one who raped
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
assalam wailaikum brother. a year ago one of my close friend raped me. i cannot report him or tell my family because it will be a disaster. my family will collapse and break down. i am willing to live in pain but i can`t see my family get hurt. the problem is i can`t forget that incident. my parents are looking for a groom. they want to get me married. however i feel i can`t marry any other man except him who raped me. am i wrong to feel like this? he is not married either. i have been praying to Allah and sincerely asking him for this marriage between us. i always felt marriage is destiny, and nothing happens without Allah`s command. i have cried eevery night to Allah to have mercy on me and help me with this problem. will my prayer be answered? am i wrong to marry him?
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Marry the one who raped
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 49:
59 O prophet! Tell your wives and daughters and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when in the presence of non-mehrams): that is most convenient that they should be known (as such) and not molested: and Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.
My dear and beloved sister in Islam, the precise reason and wisdom for Allah and His Messenger (saws) for guiding the believing women towards the scrupulous guarding of their ‘hijaab’ when dealing with non-mehram members of the opposite sex is that they will be recognized as righteous God-fearing women and their conduct and adornment will be a deterrent from being molested.
Your Question: a year ago one of my close friend raped me. i cannot report him or tell my family because it will be a disaster. my family will collapse and break down. i am willing to live in pain but i can`t see my family get hurt.
Dear and beloved sister, in our humble opinion you did not make the right choice by not bringing the person who molested your honor to justice. As hurt as any righteous family would be, they would understand that you were a victim and absolutely blameless for the incident that was forcibly enacted upon you against your will. It may be that your silence might make the evil-doer even more daring in the future, and just as he has effected your very soul with his evil act and got away with it, he may take your silence as a license to destroy some other innocent sisters life.
Your Question: however i feel i can`t marry any other man except him who raped me. am i wrong to feel like this?
Dear and Beloved sister, when one has committed such a heinous crime and molested your trust and your honor by taking advantage of your innocence, and you have chosen not to bring him to justice for whatever reason….the least you should do is absolutely distance yourself from such evil mongers.
Beloved sister, what makes you think that one who has committed such a ghastly and cowardly act and has taken undue advantage of an innocent girl would make a good husband???
As much as not bringing the evil doer to justice for his abomination of a crime was an unwise decision, in our humble opinion the absolute last thought you should entertain in your mind is to spend the rest of your life with such an untrustworthy and evil person….especially when Islam has guided that trust, love, mercy, kindness, and forbearance are the very pillars of a righteous marriage.
Dear and beloved sister in Islam, if you still wish to leave the person who raped you unchallenged and do not wish to report his abomination of a crime to the authorities or your parents, then you should leave the past in the past and seek to marry a righteous, pious, and God-fearing man who will honor, love, and protect you as commanded by Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Beloved sister in Islam, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in faith we reiterate that under no circumstances should you even entertain the thought of marrying someone who has betrayed your trust, dishonored your innocence, and forced himself upon you against your will; for an union with such a manifest
unrepentant transgressor would be a disaster and a grave mistake indeed. If the person who committed this ghastly and appalling crime of rape does not repent for his evil deed and amend his conduct, Allah is our witness, his accounting in the Presence of The Lord Most High on that Inevitable Day of Judgment will be unimaginably severe indeed.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,