And if he dissaproves, do we still get married or do we end it?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
i have
reverted to Islam about a year ago and i have met this muslim man and we wish
to marry. but he is scared to ask his father because i am not from the same
country and i have a disability and cannot walk or lift. he says that his
father wouldnt approve. what do i do if his father dissapproves? And if he dissaproves, do we still get
married or do we end it?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Approval of grooms
Father
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verse 54:
54 It is He (Allah) Who
has created man from water: then has He established relationships of
lineage (blood) and of marriage: for thy Lord has Power (over all
things).
Beloved Sister in Islam, a marriage in Islam is not a mere
union of two individuals, but rather a union between two families…..and
although the consent of the groom’s father is not amongst the obligatory and
prescribed conditions of an Islamic Nikaah to be lawful in Shariah Law, it
would only be considered piety and righteousness for the groom to seek and
obtain his father’s/parent’s approval to his choice in marriage. Islam guides that neither should a righteous
and God-fearing child marry someone without the approval of their parents, nor
should the parents refuse the choice of their children without an absolutely
valid and just reason.
If after one’s very best and polite efforts, the
father/parents of the groom still disapprove of the choice of the girl their
son seeks to marry….the decision is
left entirely unto the boy…..
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses
23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with great
kindness; if either or both of them
attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ (a word of contempt) to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws)
what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister