Child harassed by father and lack of Concentration
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Salaam
3alaykom,
Im
24years old. I was born in
I have
a sister, 31years old, she`s married alhamdulillah with a Belgian person,who
recently became muslim. Before my sister had a relationship with a turkish
man(not married),and they have a 9year old son.
This
person has a very bad character, he used to beat my sister a lot, he
steals,zina,gambling, alcohol, drugs.....
He
doesnt pray or pay zakaat or fast...He`s muslim by saying.Allahu3alem.The court
decided that the son can go to his father every 2weeks in the weekends. But he
has a very bad influence .He tells him that his mother isnt good, she wil have
another baby and she wont love you anymore,she cant buy for you this and
that....
And
when the child returns to his mother,then the he doesnt want to speak to her or
look at her...
And
every time the father sees my sister on street,he`s cursing her,saying bad
words,many times he attacked my sister on street,
My
question is ,what should or can i do,police doesnt do nothing,he doesnt care
about this even, should i go to him and his family and talk about this(the
family is also bad),or is it permissible for me to attack him if he continues, even
if he is not afraid of Allah and His rules
My
second question is about me.
I feel
like im stuck with my religion. i try to learn by reading books,but its to
difficult for me to concentrate or memorize things. im thinking to much about
many things. i feel always sleepy.I have much waswaas. i know these things come
from shajtaan.
Pleaze
advise me,how should i start to learn about islaam, what should i read and
memorize. Shoud i start with tafseer, aqeedah, learn about diffrent
groups(bida`a),names,
plz
give me instructions, how can i consentrate and memorize and not be sleepy, i
want 2 learn. But i dont know how, how should i organize my days. baraakAllahfiek
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Answer:
Child harassed by father and lack of
Concentration
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Answer
to your question 1
Brother, you should not use violence with the
Turkish man. However, if he attacks your sister, and in her and your self
defense you strike him there will be no sin on you. But our sincere advise is to
stay away from violence because it may be the reason of your incarceration
according to the laws of your land.
The only solution you have is to be patient
and try to stay away from this violent man. Your sister should also practice
patience and stay away from him.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 200:
200 O ye who believe! Practice ‘sabr’ (persevere in
patience and constancy): vie in such ‘sabr’ (perseverance);
strengthen each other; and fear Allah; that ye may prosper.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 11 Surah
Hud verses 9-11:
9 If We give man a taste of Mercy from Ourselves and then withdraw it
from him, behold! He is in despair and (falls into) blasphemy.
10 But if We give him a taste of (Our) favors after adversity hath
touched him, He is sure to say "All evil has departed from me!";
behold! He falls into exultation and pride.
11 Not so do those who show ‘sabr’ (patience and
constancy), and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a
great reward.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.268 Narrated by Thabit Al Bunani
The Prophet (saws) said, 'No doubt, ‘sabr’ is
(best practiced or displayed) at the first stroke of a calamity!’
Your
question 2
And when the child
returns to his mother,then the he doesnt want to speak to her or look at her...
Answer
to your question 2
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah
Ahzaab verse 3:
3 And put thy trust in Allah and enough is
Allah as a Disposer of (all) affairs.
Time and time again, Allah Subhanah has Guided and Commanded
the believers in His Glorious Quran to put their absolute trust in Him and Him
Alone!
My dear beloved brother it is important that you and your
sister teach him good Islamic values and InshaAllah he will understand what is
right as he grows up and put your full trust in Allah swt to guide him on the
right path.
One of the best supplications for one who is
unwell can and should make is the supplication made by the noble Prophet Ayyub
(a.s.), who when inflicted by trials, tribulations and disease in
the life of this world called upon the Merciful Lord thus:
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter
21 Surah Anbiya verses 83-84:
83 And
(remember) Ayyub when he cried to his Lord "Truly distress has seized me, but Thou art the Most Merciful
of those that are merciful."
84 So We listened
to him: We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his people to
him, and doubled their number as a Grace from Ourselves and a thing for
commemoration for all who serve Us.
Your
question 3
My
second question is about me.
I feel
like im stuck with my religion.i try to learn by reading books,but its to
difficult for me to concentrate or memorize things.im thinking to much about
many things.i feel always sleepy.I have much waswaas.i know these things come
from shajtaan.
Pleaze
advise me,how should i start to learn about islaam,
what
should i read and memorize.Shoud i start with tafseer,aqeedah,learn about
diffrent groups(bida`a),names,
plz give
me instructions,how can i consentrate and memorize and not be sleepy,i want 2
learn.But i dont know how,how should i organize my days.baraakAllahfiek
Answer
to your question 3
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.47
(part) Narrated by Abu Huraira
…..(Hadrat Jibrael (a.s.) came to the Prophet
(saws) who was sitting with his companions, in the form of a human being and
asked the Prophet (saws)): "What is ‘Ihsaan’
(perfection)?" Allah's Messenger (saws) replied, "To
worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you cannot achieve that state of
devotion, then you must know with absolute conviction that Allah (at least) is
looking at you." …….
Beloved brother in Islam, no matter
how pious and God-fearing a believer is, very very few amongst the
believers can control their flow of thoughts in their prayers, for
our avowed enemy, the Shaitaan, always tries to put thoughts into our
minds when we offer our prayers and read the Glorious Quran:
There are a few basic things one can do to
minimize these thoughts:
- Seek
the refuge in Allah Subhanah from the accursed Shaitaan, before
starting the prayer.
- Understand
the simple and basic meaning of the prayers, so that one may
try to concentrate on the meanings of what one is beseeching his Merciful
Lord when in prayer.
- Remember
that when one is in prayer, he is actually in audience of the Lord
of the Worlds; and try to bring himself to a state as if he is
reciting his prayers in the Presence of his Lord.
- If
one cannot bring himself to that state while in prayer, he
should at least try to remember and know for sure, that his
Lord is watching over him; for indeed, Allah
Subhanah is All-Seeing, All Knowing.
Beloved brother, this feeling and pain of
yours, and your ardent desire to remove the worldly thoughts when
you are in state of prayer, is in itself a sign of your ‘emaan’ and
your love for Allah Subhanah and His devotion! And it is your
this ‘emaan’ and love for Allah Subhanah, that the evil Shaitaan is
trying to negate, for the cursed Shaitaan hates nothing more than
when he sees a believer worshipping his Lord with humility and
devotion! Shaitaan is the avowed enemy of the
believer, and if he cannot hold back the believer from his
prayers, he will try to put thoughts into the believer when he
prays, and tries to despair the believer of Allah’s
Worship!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 114 Surah
An-Naas verses 4-5:
4 (Say, I
seek refuge in Allah) from the mischief of the Whisperer (of
Evil), who withdraws (after his whisper)
5 (The
same) who whispers into the hearts of mankind.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah
Aaraaf verses 16-17:
16 He (Shaitaan) said:
"because Thou (Allah) hast thrown me out of the
way; Lo! I will lie in wait for them (the believers) on
Thy Straight Way.
17 "Then will I assault
them; from before them, and behind them, from
their right, and their left: nor wilt Thou find in most of them
gratitude (for Thy mercies)
Abu Hurairah reports that the Prophet (saws)
said: "When the call to prayer is made, the Satan takes to his heels...
and when it is finished, he returns. He flees again when the iqamah
is made, and when it is finished, he returns until he
comes between the man and his thoughts, saying: 'Remember this and remember
that,' which he had not recalled, until the person does not know how much he has
prayed, [i.e.,] three or four rak'at.”
(This is narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Thus, my beloved brother in
Islam, don’t let the thoughts bother you, and as soon as
you realize that this is a ploy and tactic of the Shaitaan to take you away from
your prayers, try your best to concentrate on your prayers and
continue your supplications to the Merciful Lord in humility and in sincere
devotion.
Such thoughts also came into the hearts of
some of the most noblest companions of the Messenger of Allah
(saws), and he (saws) advised them thus:
Sahih Muslim Hadith
5463 Narrated by Uthman ibn Abul'As
Uthman came to Allah's Messenger (saws) and
said: “OAllah's Messenger (saws), the Satan intervenes between me
and my prayer, and my reciting of the Qur'an and he confounds
me.” Thereupon Allah's Messenger (saws) said: “That
is (the doing of the Satan) who is known as Khinzab, and when you
perceive its effect, seek refuge with Allah from it, and spit three
times to your left.” I did that and Allah dispelled that from me.
Sahih Muslim Hadith
6623 Narrated by Hanzalah Usayyidi,
I met AbuBakr. He said: “Who are
you?” I (Hanzalah) said: “Hanzalah has turned out to be a
hypocrite.” He (AbuBakr) said: “Hallowed be Allah, what
are you saying?” Thereupon I said: “I say that when we are in the
company of Allah's Messenger (saws), we ponder over Hell-Fire and
Thus my dear beloved brother in Islam, The solution for
your lack of concentration in learning the Holy Book and about Islam is that
you have to be strict in performing the 5 daily prayers in their right times,
fasting in Ramadhan, paying the zakat if payable, be kind and obedient to your
parents and do all kinds of righteous good things always. If there is a mosque
or Islamic Center near your place you should visit it often and be amongst
believers so that you can learn the deen and benefit from their good company.
Lastly, you should pray as many nafil prayers as possible and make duaa to
Allah swt to keep you away from harms way and grant you knowledge and perfect
your religion. InshaAllah soon you will notice that all your lethargy and lack
of concentration will vanish.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.502 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "Allah, Exalted
and High is He, Says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do
for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me.
If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people,
I remember him in a group that is better than theirs; and if he
comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one
cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and
if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.'"
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only
ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Members of
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