Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As Salam alaikum Dear Brother,

Hope you will be fine alhamdulillah and I am also fine by the grace of almighty Allah Subhanwatala and lots of duas for the Entire Team of q&A as you people are doing very good job  - Mashallah.

I am 31 years old and decided to marry inshahallah in Dec.2010.  In my case to person whom I have decided to marry we had an affair since last 7 years, he was staying in Saudi and I was in Hyderabad, first 3 years we didnt looked to each other but used to talk through phone and chat and when he came to India we had met and  he sent a proposal through his mother and sister to my house, but unfortunately his mother has rejected me due to my family issues & then he left to Saudi and after fews he stopped talking to me and requested me to forget him as he cannot do anything without his mother's permission as his mother means to him his world- Mashahallah.  I and my Mothersa Teacher (as I was doing Aleem Course at that time) I took help of my Teacher to convince his mother) we both  went to his House and requested  his mother to accept me but all in vain.  After this issue I totally lost interest in my life and just living for the sake of my parents as I am only the bread earner in my house.  I was unable to live there in Hyderabad as I was unable to forget him also I tried to end my life but any how I learned to lead my life. And Finally Allah SAW made an azbaab for me to travel to Dubai in 2007 and since 2007 Feb, i am in dubai working in an Organisation alhamdulillah, I learned to lead my life alone by the grace of almighty Allah SAW, but I tried to forget him but  I was not able to forget him as his presence was existing in me, always he was within me in my thoughts and I didnt even thought of marrying anyone & i decided to lead my life without marriage because I cannot forget him, he is very religious guy and he always used to thought me things which take me to deen, I always used to ask Allah SAW in my duas to meet him once in my liftime then a miracle took place, in 2009 January I received a message through chat from him, then since that time till now we are again in touch with each other through phone and now also he is in saudi and I am in dubai.  since the time he started talking to me ie,  from january2007 it was his intention  to marry me and I am also willing to marry one, but one problem took place that he is married and have 2 small kids. 

He said that will give equal haquq (rights) to both of his wives and in my eyes  becoming a 2nd wife is not a sin in Islam.  Before my parents doesnt  want me to marry that guy, they also dislikes him because he is very much religious and they think ahle hadees people will be very much strict and he may not allow me to continue my job after marriage.  Now alhamdulillah I  convinced my parents that he will keep me happy and he is a very a caring personality.   Aand one of relatives when i discussed this case in front of him he simply told me that you are not doing correct thing in my eyes, this is a very big sin, he said at the time of Nabi's period, they used to marry 2, 3, 4 times but this is not that period, he said this is haram you are commiting a big sin. 

Dear Brother  I am now in a very big conclusion how to handle this issue.  I performed Salat-ul-Isteqara and seek help from Allah Rabbul Izzat, and in my eyes I am not doing anything wrong, marriage is sunna of Mohammad Mustafa Sallahahu alhaiwasallam and I am doing Jaeez thing.

Dear Brother I hereby request you to please suggest me whether I am doing right or wrong thing by performing marriage to that person who is already married.

Awaiting for your reply and request you to please add me in your duas for peace of my mind and may Allah SAW give me lots of sabr - AMEEN  YA RUB SUMMA AMEEN

Best Regards

Jazakallah Hu Khairan

Your Sister

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Answer:

Woman to be second wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….I hereby request you to please suggest me whether I am doing right or wrong thing by performing marriage to that person who is already married.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice: two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice

Respected sister, there is an allowance in Shariah Law for a believer to marry and keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, if one indeed wishes to do so. Respected sister, if you are confident that the person you seek to marry will be able to fear Allah and do justice between his wives with his time and his resources, there is absolutely no harm if you chose to become his second wife.

Your Statement: Aand one of relatives when i discussed this case in front of him he simply told me that you are not doing correct thing in my eyes, this is a very big sin, he said at the time of Nabi's period, they used to marry 2, 3, 4 times but this is not that period, he said this is haram you are commiting a big sin. 

The opinion of this relative of yours that it would be a sin for you to become the second wife of the person is absolutely incorrect, to say the least! This relative of yours (and no one in creation!) has the right to declare unlawful what the Lord Most Majestic Himself has declared as lawful!!!

Respected sister, rest absolutely assured that if you chose to marry this person of your choice as his second wife, you are well within your rights in Shariah Law to do so.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan