Family have been going through many problem, mother and father have been arguing, on top of that relatives who i do not like for example my uncle a wife beater a child beater are always invited here by my father even though he knows this.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalam-Alaikum
I have some serious problems please provide advice in the light of islam.
Family have been going through many problem, mother and father have been
arguing, on top of that relatives who i do not like for example my uncle a wife
beater a child beater are always invited here by my father even though he knows
this.
I have asked a million times to please do not allow him in this house but my
repeated requests have gone unheard.
Now i am being forced to choose either some happiness for me and my wife to be
by moving somewhere else or staying with my mother and standing all of this.
I dont want to leave but i dont see any other way out of this. Every time i
pray for some happiness for my family i receive more and more sorrows and this
has slowly began to affect my faith in islam. im starting to see life as a
poison rather than a gift.
Today things got out of hand when my parents were talking to and asking for
advice from my uncle about their marriage when my uncle himself is a wife and
child beater. I could not take this anymore with him sitting there acting all
inocent and trying to help i lost control and started to abuse him verbally. I
do not care what happens but i will not allow him in this house again.
I have thought many times to pack my bags and leave without a word. According
to islam and the quran what should i do?
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Answer:
Break relations
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one cannot
over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to
one’s parents in Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate
abomination of ‘shirk’ in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be
undutiful to one’s parents!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with
great kindness; if either or
both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain
was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 36:
36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to
parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors
who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what
your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah
(saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah
I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom
should I show kindness most?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again):
‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.
I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again:
‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in
order of relationship.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah
Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said,
"Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I
have come to consult you. He (saws)
asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said,
"Stay with her, for
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (saws) said: "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its
name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah). So
whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will
keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his
bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the
‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied:
"They are:--
To join others in worship with Allah,
To be undutiful to one's parents,
To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden
to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
And to give a false witness."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I
inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O
Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in
worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There
are three people to whom Allah has forbidden
Respected brother, regardless of whatever transpires in
the family, you have absolutely no right to say even ‘uff’ to your father,
leave alone rebuke, or talk harshly with him, or (Allah forbid) ‘command’ him
to break or sever relations with his brother (your own uncle!)!!!!
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse 25:
As for those who break
their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder
relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on
the earth, their’s shall be the curse,
and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray
only those who disobey Allah, who break
Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what
Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the
Earth. These are indeed the people who
are the losers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws)
said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one
of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one
who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever
the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith
and kin).
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.15 Narrated by Anas bin Malik
Allah 's Messenger
(saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his
lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith
and kin."
Regardless of the behavior of one’s blood-relatives, it is
absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an abomination of a sin in the Sight
of Allah for one to break or sever ties or relationships of blood which the Lord
Himself has created for them!
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.20 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr
The Prophet (saws) said, "’Al-Wasil’
(the one who does good to his relatives) is not he who recompenses the good
done to him by his relatives, but ‘Al-Wasil’ is he who keeps good relations
with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him."
Respected brother in Islam, we remind you as we remind
ourselves, if you are satisfied that Allah Subhanah, the Lord of the Worlds,
should (I seek refuge in Allah from even saying this!) sever relations with
you….then go ahead and do as you please!
But if the pain and anguish of Allah Subhanah severing relations with
you is greater than the pain of restoring bond of relationship with your kith
and kin, then fear Allah, turn to Him in sincere repentance, and strive your
absolute utmost to restore your bond of relationship with your kith and kin.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister