Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Sir,

I am very much thank ful to you for your reply.  I ask forgiveness to God for what ever sins i had made.

I know it wont be appropriate to keep on discusing my situation but i would sincerly pray to God that he give me paitients to follow what our book says and our dear prophet had told with regard to my relation with my father.

I would like to write down point wise how i will go forward with my relation with my father and i humbaly request you to tell me whether it is ok (for example: point 1 ok, point 2 no, etc)

1]  I had never ever used bad langauge for my father and i will never use

2]  I cannot leave with him in same house, but if God give me enough I will support him monetorly without obligation

3]  I will not allow him to involve in my personal matters bcz we do not share same view points in almost all matters, Bcz he belive him troubling people for his benifit and cannot be part of such behaviour.

4]  My relation with my 3 step brothers are very very Good it is excelent.  I love them like my own brother and they too respect me alot.  Even though they stay with my father they know who is right and who is wrong.  I never tried to poison them for my father and i will never do so.

5]  I just want to leave pease fully with my mother and wife and give them all happines i can.  And i will not allow my father to spoil that at any time for that i want to stay away from him

There is always 3 sides of a story, one my side, secound your side and 3rd the truth.  I am not saying that I am fully correct.  But atleast if we cannot leave together, stay away and respect each other that is all what i want.

Once again i thank you for replying and hope you will reply to me on this also.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Relationship with father

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statements: I would like to write down point wise how i will go forward with my relation with my father and i humbaly request you to tell me whether it is ok (for example: point 1 ok, point 2 no, etc)

Respected brother, we would really liked to have had the opportunity to explain why some of the acts you have listed are unacceptable in the Sight of Allah Subhanah….but because we are bound by your request to reply only with ‘OK’ or ‘NOT OK’, here follows:

1]  I had never ever used bad langauge for my father and i will never use

OK.

2]  I cannot leave with him in same house,

NOT OK!

…….but if God give me enough I will support him monetorly without obligation

OK. 

3]  I will not allow him to involve in my personal matters bcz we do not share same view points in almost all matters, Bcz he belive him troubling people for his benifit and cannot be part of such behaviour.

NOT OK!

4]  My relation with my 3 step brothers are very very Good it is excelent.  I love them like my own brother and they too respect me alot.  Even though they stay with my father they know who is right and who is wrong.  I never tried to poison them for my father and i will never do so.

OK.

5]  I just want to leave pease fully with my mother and wife and give them all happines i can. 

OK.

….And i will not allow my father to spoil that at any time for that i want to stay away from him

NOT OK!

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan