Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Am getting married soon inshAllah and i toldmy wife to be that i want my children to be able to speak my native language and by that i will have to send them when they come of age to my native town to continue their higher school educaton.so they can pick up the basis of the language and culture.

She said know ,that she has more right on the children than i do.

What do you know about that?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Mother three times Kindness

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws)! To whom should I show kindness?’ He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked again ‘Who next?’ The Prophet (saws) replied (for a second time) ‘Your mother.’ I asked again ‘Who next?’. The Prophet (saws) replied (for a third time) ‘Your mother and then comes your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’

The Messenger of Allah (saws) commanded and guided the believing off-spring to show as much as three times the kindness as shown to their father….but that does not in any way mean that a mother has more right on the children than the father.

In matters of upbringing of one’s offspring, both the parents have rights similar to each other and decisions must be made through mutual agreements and understanding.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 233 (part):

No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan