Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam Sir,

I'm 26 years old girl, not yet married. My parents are not showing any interest in searching for a proposal. We live in a foreign country, and go for vacations to our home country only once in 4 years and just for 30 days. My parents expects proposal to come within 30 days itself. They will be marrying me only in our home country. What I'm worried is that i'll be going back for vacation only after 4 years from now, and then my age will be 30, and even if i get a proposal, they'll be fixing the marriage in the next 4 years time. At present i'm working and facing a lot of mental pressure from collegues and friends, everybody looks at me with suspicion, and they consider me very low. Once i tried to speak to my mom about this issue, she is saying what is there to hurry, and got angry on me saying that i'm interested in getting married and warned me not to discuss this topic again.

Please advise me as to what islam says about marriage, and when should a girl get married. Also give me some useful tips that i should follow.

Regards

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Answer:

Unmarried girl

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

It is the duty and responsibility of the parents, or elders, or the guardians to seek to marry their daughter or girls under their care as soon as she is of marriageable age; and it would not be considered piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah for one to delay the marriage of their girls without an absolutely genuine and valid reason.

If for any reason a girl of marriageable age finds that her parents, or elders, or guardians are disinterested or unnecessary delaying in seeking to get her married, she is well within her rights to humbly but firmly remind them of their duties.

If she is still unsuccessful, she should approach the elders of her parents (her grand-parents, or her uncles, aunts, etc.) or a good and close friend and well-wisher of her parents, or even the ‘imam’ of her local masjid, etc. and explain her condition and situation to them and ask them to remind her parents of their duty.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3096 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, "When one marries he has fulfilled half of the religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

Islam guides both the believing men and the believing women to marry sooner rather than later, for marriage helps one to lower one’s gaze and guard their modesty. Such is the temptation to fulfill one’s physical natural desire at youth, that if for any reason (Allah forbid) one delays the marriage of their children, there is always a risk that they may fall into temptation and sin and transgress the prescribed boundaries of Allah Subhanah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan