Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan,

I have the intention to get married, but I have a lot of debts. If I am to get married now, I would need to take a loan on top of my debts, which I am not willing to do, because I feel its wrong. But people are pressuring me to get married, because of my age (I am 29 years old). I would like to wait till I clear my debts, before I commit myself to marriage.Their saying that I am doing wrong by delaying my marriage.

Please advise me if I am doing wrong by doing that.

Jazak Allahu Khair

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marriage and Debts

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: Please advise me if I am doing wrong by doing that.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, the institution of marriage is not obligatory in Islam, but rather optional and a preferred Sunnah; thus if one, does not wish or have the desire to marry, one cannot say its wrong or a sin.

Islam has not only encouraged the believers to marry, but guided them to hasten in getting married, as being united in this sacred institution of marriage helps one to guard one’s modesty and chastity, and this noble union between a man and a woman ensures the continuity of the human race.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Your Statement: I have the intention to get married, but I have a lot of debts.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, first and foremost, Islam has laid the whole and complete financial burden of marriage and maintaining a family solely on the shoulders on the man. Thus provided you choose to marry a pious, righteous, God-fearing believer who knows and obeys the Laws of Islam, he will be the one who will bear the financial burden of the marriage and the maintenance of the family.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3089 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three whom it is right for Allah to help:

1. the slave whose master has agreed to let him buy his freedom when he wishes to pay the sum,
2. the one who marries desiring to live a chaste life,
3. and the one who fights in Allah's Path."

Of the three types of people the Messenger of Allah (saws) said that Allah has taken it upon Himself to help, one of them are those who desire to marry and live a chaste life. It is expected that if one chooses to marry and live a chaste life, Allah Subhanah will provide them from His Unlimited and Endless Bounties.

Your Statement: I would like to wait till I clear my debts, before I commit myself to marriage.

Dear and Beloved Sister, debts are definitely a burden, espeically of this ignorant society of abundance that we live in today, and one should constantly seek refuge in Allah Subhanah from being burdened by debts and strive to live within the means provided to them by their Lord.

Abu Sa'id al-Khudri reported, "One day the Prophet (saws) entered the mosque. He (saws) saw there a man from the Ansar called Abu Umamah. He (saws) asked, 'What is the matter with you that I see you sitting in the mosque when it is not the time of prayer.' He replied, 'I am very much worried and in great debt, O Messenger of Allah (saws)!' The Prophet (saws) said, 'Let me teach you words to say so that Allah will remove your worries and settle your debt?' He exclaimed, 'Of course, O, Messenger of Allah (saws).' The Prophet (saws) said, 'Say in morning and evening, "O Allah, I seek refuge in You from all worry and grief. I seek refuge in You from incapacity and slackness. I seek refuge in You from cowardice and niggardliness, and I seek refuge in You from being overcome by debt and being subjected to men".' The man said, 'When I did that, Allah removed all my worries and settled my debt'."

Related by Abu Daw'ud.

Ali related that a slave, who had agreed on terms of his freedom with his master, came to him and said, "I cannot pay my master as I agreed in the terms of freedom, so help me." Ali said to him, "Let me teach you the supplication that the Prophet (saws) taught me. If you say it, Allah will cause your debt to be paid even if it be as great as a mountain. Say, 'O Allah, make Your lawful bounties sufficient for me so as to save me from what is unlawful, and from Your Grace grant me sufficient abundance to make me free from the need of all except You'."

Related by Tirmidhi.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in faith, in our humble opinion you should not allow your debts or current financial condition to delay your desire to marry. Keep firm your belief and absolutely Trust the Promises of Help from your Lord Most Gracious; for, we swear by Him in Whose Hands is our soul, Allah never ever goes against His Promises!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah An-Nisa verse 122:

The Promise of Allah is true, and who can be truer in his Word than Allah?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan