Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother

Assalamu Alikum

Could you advise me the following and additional infm re Den Muhar during Marriage.

- How the amount is decided and who decides.

- when to repayment.

- can it be paid with gold jewlery.

- can it be revised, increased or lower amount later.

Look forward to hear from you.

Thanks and warm regards

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Negotiation of Mehr

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4: And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you , take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.

Your question: How the amount is decided and who decides.

The amount of Mehr is not fixed in Shariah. A rich man may offer according to his status and a poor man according to his status; and a woman may accept or demand more according to her wish. It is something that is offered by the man according to his status, and accepted or rejected by the proposed bride if she wishes to do so.

The decision of the amount to offer is made by the groom, and the bride has the right to accept or reject it.

Your question: when to repayment.

Once the ‘mehr’ amount is accepted by the bride, it is better and purer for the man to pay her immediately. If he cannot afford to pay her immediately, and if his proposed wife agrees, he may pay her at a later date or in installments.

Your question: can it be paid with gold jewlery.

There is absolutely no harm if one pays the ‘mehr’ by cash, cheque, jewelry, car, land, house, etc. One may pay the amount any which way that is acceptable to the bride.

Your question: can it be revised, increased or lower amount later.

Once the man and the woman have agreed on the ‘mehr’ amount at the time of marriage, and the marriage subsequently takes place; the man may, if he wants, pay his wife more than what was agreed. But he cannot, by himself, decrease or lower the amount in any way.

The wife may, of her own free will and without any pressure or coercion, if she wills can decrease the amount, or even forgive the whole amount if she wishes to do so.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan