Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan

I also wanted to know whether an married man wishing to get married again , should inform his first wife or not about his intention.  If yes, and in case his first wife opposes him, what is the right of the man?

JazackAllah Khair

Dear Brother Burhan

Assalaam'alaikoum

I have a doubt in my mind and I wish you can clear it for me. For most of the women on this planet, it is very difficult to share their husband. This was the case many years back with the wife of Ibrahim (PUH) and even Aisha (PUH).  Hence our jealousy is historic and in a certain sense "natural".  On the other side of the coin, Allah has created man and He knows his weakness when it comes to women.  Hence, men are allowed to marry four times.  However, my question is about whether the man ,who is already married , is allowed to marry again without informing his first wife.  Secondly, I wish you can tell me whether a grown up unmarried man can marry with a lady without informing his parents.

Thanks in advance

Masalama

Sister

P.S : please keep my name and email address confidential

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Permission of first wife to remarry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: I also wanted to know whether an married man wishing to get married again , should inform his first wife or not about his intention.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two, or three, or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife; or marry those women who have fallen in your possession. This will be the better course to avoid injustice.

Allah Subhanah, Who created everything in existence and bestowed on each its nature, Knows best the weaknesses and inclinations and the nature of each in His creation. Because in its inherent nature man has been created polygamous, when one amongst them who is already married chooses to exercise his option and decides to marry again, there is very little one can do to change his mind. Thus the man who has absolutely made up his mind and desires another woman in addition to his wife, he is left with three basic options:

1. Form an illicit and secret unlawful relationship with the other woman,
2. Divorce and leave the first wife and marry the other, or
3. Keep the first wife, and marry the other as his second wife.

There is absolutely no stipulation, condition, or restriction in Shariah that a believer who is already married and wishes to take on a second wife, to seek or have the prior permission of the first wife. The one and only condition Islam lays upon the believer who wishes to exercise his lawful option of practicing polygamy, is to make sure that he does justice amongst his wives with his allocation of time and resources towards them.

Regardless of whether the husband chooses to inform his first wife prior to taking on a second wife or not, provided all the obligatory conditions of a ‘nikaah’ are fulfilled, his second marriage will be absolutely lawful in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: If yes, and in case his first wife opposes him, what is the right of the man?

Beloved Sister in Islam, it is Allah Subhanah who has given the permission and allowed the believing men to take and keep more than one wife upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, if they wish and desire to do so. If the first wife opposes the decision of her husband to take on a second wife, it is entirely upto the husband to accede or reject the opposition of his first wife.

Some women might indeed not be able to accept or share their husband with another wife, and if the first wife fears that she may not be able to stay within the limits of Islam if her husband were to take on a second wife, she is well within her rights to seek a divorce from her husband.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."

But it is absolutely forbidden in Islam for the woman who is going to be the second wife of a person to demand that she will only marry him if he were to divorce his first wife!

Your Question: Secondly, I wish you can tell me whether a grown up unmarried man can marry with a lady without informing his parents.

The absolutely obligatory conditions of an Islamic ‘nikaah’ are:

1. Proposal by one party and acceptance by the other.
2. The determination of ‘mehr’ to be given by the groom to the bride.
3. The availability of at least two muslim witnesses to the marriage contract.
4. The consent of the ‘wali’ of the bride to the marriage contract.

There is absolutely no condition in Islam that a groom needs the prior consent or approval of his guardians or parents before he marries; thus although it would not be in the best of etiquettes, or piety, or righteousness to do so, if a man were to marry without the consent of his parents, such a marriage would be considered lawful and valid in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah…..for the approval or presence of the groom’s parents is not an obligatory condition of marriage in Islam.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan