Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam
A. my husband used tobe a christian but he became a muslim alhamdulilah just before we got married he is called jamal but he still uses his christianity name eg passport work etc. is it wrong for him to still use his name?

B. my father dislikes my husband even though my husband hasn`t done anything what should i do or say to my father and what should i say to my husband from so he can stop feeling bad?

c. my father still hates me for a mistake that i did a few years ago i got pregnant before i got married and he wanted me to have an abotion but i refused to kill my baby so since then he has always hated me and my husband i have ask ALLH to forgive me and my husband for what we did and INSHALLAH he will forgive me and i have ask my mum and dad to forgive me my mum forgave me but my dad didn`t he is just always upset withme what can i do to make the situation better?

please help me thank you 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Girl marries Christian

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: my husband used tobe a christian but he became a muslim alhamdulilah just before we got married he is called jamal but he still uses his christianity name eg passport work etc. is it wrong for him to still use his name?

If the Christian name of your husband does not constitute an evil meaning or connote ‘shirk’, there is absolutely no harm in him using his previous name. Most of the companions who reverted to Islam during the time of the Messenger of Allah (saws) kept their maiden names even after reversion, unless if their maiden names had an evil meaning or an element of ‘shirk’, the Messenger of Allah (saws) would assign them a new name.

Thus if the maiden name of your husband is good, there is absolutely no harm in him keeping or using that name. Allah Subhanah does not Judge a person by the name one keeps, but rather His Judgment is based on the person’s belief, deeds, and the level of ones piety.

Allah says in the Holy Quran: Chapter 49 Surah Hujurat verse 13:

O mankind, We created you from one man and one woman, and then divided you into nations and tribes so that you may recognize one another. Indeed, the most honorable among you in the Sight of Allah is he who is the most pious of you. Surely Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

Your Questions: my father dislikes my husband even though my husband hasn`t done anything what should i do or say to my father and what should i say to my husband from so he can stop feeling bad?

Your Question: my father still hates me for a mistake that i did a few years ago i got pregnant before i got married and he wanted me to have an abotion but i refused to kill my baby so since then he has always hated me and my husband i have ask ALLH to forgive me and my husband for what we did and INSHALLAH he will forgive me and i have ask my mum and dad to forgive me my mum forgave me but my dad didn`t he is just always upset withme what can i do to make the situation better?
Dear and beloved sister, from what you have related of your past, it is only natural that a father (and mother) who cherished and sacrificed so much for their child all their lives, would feel immense pain if that child grew up to disregard their opinion when she was about to make one of the most important decisions of her life! If you could only put yourself in your parents shoes and imagine their helplessness and their condition at whatever transpired in the past, perhaps you would be able to comprehend their pain and dismay.

First and foremost you and your husband need to turn back to your Lord Creator and seek His forgiveness for your past deeds; and considering the immense pain you might have caused your parents, regardless of their behavior towards you, you should at all times humble yourselves to them, be extremely kind and patient with them, and remain constant in your abject service to them in all matters henceforth. And above all remain constant in your supplications to your Lord Creator to soften their hearts and bring them to forgive you for your past transgressions.

One can only realize the love and concern a parent has for their childrens’ well-being only when they have their own children! If you could only put yourselves in your parents shoes for one moment, you would realize how much your past actions have hurt them….and it is only with your character, behavior, tenderness, kindness, humility and wisdom that you can start the healing process of their broken hearts.

My dear and beloved sister, it may take a lifetime or it may take only a moment to heal the wounds of your parents hearts….thus, regardless of their behavior towards you, you must remember that it was your decisions and deeds that has caused this rift, and it is entirely upto you to start the healing process of your strained relationship with your parents.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan