Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have a question for you. You said according to you, it said in holy book, "if you truly love a woman or girl?" How could you love a woman unless you see her face (according to Quran woman are not allowed to show their faces and they should be in vail), and talk (according to Quran, you said that men should not talk to woman while they are alone).

Love just cannot bloom on its own. Two brains has to like each other. They have to exchange their views. Four eyes has to meet their gestures. Love is not sex.and Sex is a part of love.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Love a woman without seeing her face?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Beloved brother, firstly, in the effort to portray accuracy, we must make these corrections from your statements at the outset, for one has to be very particular when quoting from the Quran and Sunnah.

Your Statement: You said according to you, it said in holy book, "if you truly love a woman or girl?"

To the best of our knowledge there is no verse in the Quran that starts with or contains the phrase: "if you truly love a woman or girl?"

Thus to state that we quoted this from the Holy Book is an inaccurate statement!

Your Statement: (according to Quran, you said that men should not talk to woman while they are alone).

Beloved brother, the above statement is not from the Holy Quran, but rather from the authentic traditions of the Messenger of Allah (saws).

Your Statement: (according to Quran woman are not allowed to show their faces and they should be in vail)

The understanding of this statement is indeed true from the Quran, that a believing woman is not permitted to show her face (and her beauty) and they should wear a veil or a hijaab in front of non-mehram men.

Now to answer your specific questions:

Your Question: How could you love a woman unless you see her face. and talk. Love just cannot bloom on its own. Two brains has to like each other. They have to exchange their views. Four eyes has to meet their gestures. Love is not sex.and Sex is a part of love.

Islam has appropriately divided the ‘love’ a human being has for another human being in two distinct categories:

One type of love is the love one has for his mother, father, daughters, brothers, sisters, or other closely related blood relations.

The second type of love is the love and the natural physical attraction that exists between a man and a woman.

Islam guides that if one is indeed intends to marry a woman; he is encouraged to meet the woman, look at her face and features, and talk to her as much as he wishes, exchange each other’s views, etc…… but the condition Islam lays upon the righteous believers is that they should not meet with the woman in absolute privacy, but rather in the company of a guardian or a male mehram of the girl. There is absolutely no harm in such a meeting or meetings, but rather these meetings are absolutely encouraged by the Messenger of Allah (saws); provided the man who wishes to marry the girl meets her in the company of her male mehram.

But in the name of searching for true love, what happens in our modern-educated-freedom loving but ignorant and unrighteous society is that the man wants to be left free to stare, stalk, and ‘chat’ unto any woman that walks past him! In the excuse of letting the ‘Two brains have to like each other’, ‘exchange their views’ and ‘Four eyes have to meet their gestures’ man wants to talk to the woman in private with his slick and smooth talk, meet her in private to make his slick and smooth moves, and his eyes and gestures are not always as ‘sacred’ as they are made to seem!

And when the opportunity is given for the two to meet and talk in private; for the two brains to meet and exchange their views on life and politics, environment and entertainment, etc.; at the first inclination of interest shown by the girl, the slick wants more: to take his ‘search’ for ‘true’ love to level II !!! After his senses of ‘seeing’, ‘hearing’ and ‘talking’ have been remotely satisfied, now he wants to make sure if his other faculties of ‘smell’, ‘touch’ and ‘taste’ could bring him any closer to his lady love!

My beloved brother, before we jump to determining one’s sickness of the mind and the intentions of each individual, allow me to remind you that the One Who Created the nature of man gave us these instructions so that we could practice righteousness! You show me a young man ‘searching for love’ in the proposed free-for-all’ format who says that he is not motivated at all by his ‘advanced’ senses of touch and taste, and I will show you a liar!

Giving this right of allowing the man to utilize all his ‘five senses’ in the apparent search for his true love wherever and whenever he feels like, is like going to a good quality restaurant and trying to tell the management to allow the customers to taste every available dish on the menu; and once the customer has had his stomachful of ‘tastes’, he will be better able to decide which dish he would like to order for the evening!!! How very interesting that would be?

Islam, in its effort to protect the right and honor of all parties, has thus guided towards the clear differentiation of lust from love, and has allowed only the man who indeed intends to marry the woman to manifest his righteousness, and seek the company of the woman he intends to marry by first seeking the permission and consent of the guardians of the woman!

Just take a look at the scary statistics of the abuse of this so-called ‘freedom’ in the ‘freedom loving’ societies which have propagated this concept of ‘love’!!!

Ever wondered why….?

Why is it that in spite of all this freedom, % of marriages are at its lowest in the annuls of human history?

Why is it that teen-age pregnancy is at its highest in the annuls of human history?

Why is it that more children are born out of wedlock today than at any time in the annuls of human history?

Why is it that extra-marital affairs are so rampant, it does not even make the news; unless of course the President of the Free-World is himself involved in it?

Why is it that the fathers of the child wont believe they are the fathers unless they do the paternity test?

Why did this deadly disease of Aids decide to pop up its ugly head in such alarming numbers in this day and age?

I can go on and on, but it might get a bit frightening!

Your Statement: Love is not sex. and Sex is a part of love.

We would not like to completely agree with this statement; for love indeed is an honorable and sacred blessing bestowed upon human beings by their Creator! In some of the purest forms of love, sex has absolutely no role, thus it cannot be a part of love; love with ones mother, ones father, ones sister, ones daughter, ones grand-mother, etc! Namely the mehram members of one’s families.

And yes, sex is indeed an extension of one’s love when seeking a woman in marriage. The One Who Created nature clearly distinguished between these two forms of love, and guided mankind likewise so that he may practice righteousness. The All Wise, All Knowing Creator absolutely allowed and encouraged this extension of physical love, but only and only through the honorable and sacred institution of marriage.

Do it His Righteous Way, and enjoy bliss, harmony and peace.

Do it any other way, and be ready to pay dearly for all its warned consequences in full!

For a limited period of one short transitory life, He has allowed us to use our intelligence and make a choice; and thus involved mankind to a test. In the end we shall all be gathered unto Him!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan