Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam brother.

i am newly marrid, on first night itself my wife refuse to make sex relation with me, saying she need time.then after one month we make relation only when i force her, she seems to have no interest. i ask her why she doing like this, she said nothing, i even ask her if her parents force her 2 get marid with me she says she was ready.like ds she spend with me 2months, after we both come from honeymoon all of sudden she says she dnt want 2 stay in my home. she wana go her parent house.then her parents take her home. then they said some1 has done black magic, like dat. i dnt belive dat, i ask some aleem they said, she has no black magic, she dnt want 2 stay with me. she dnt like me. because of this now, my mother is tense, her health is not good. my health also not fine because of all this tension.

after 2months after her treatment with some baba. my parents & relative gone 2 her home to take care, ask her 2 come. she said she dnt want 2 come & her father says he will think & will see. since den nw its four months she is at her parent house. her father then told to do khula. we said send divorce paper we will sign & give u back. still now no action from them..

now i also dnt want to keep her. guide me.

if i want to marry another woman. do permission required from first wife in this above case.

guide me

ur brother salman

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Answer:

Divorce and remarry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: now i also dnt want to keep her. guide me.

Dear and beloved brother, Islam has recognized the fact that human beings are not animals that two of them are tied together and thus ‘must’ live together and get along, even if they do not wish to do so! Every human being is an individual, and each has its own habits, and temperaments, and likes and dislikes, etc….and it is possible that even when two human beings who once agreed to be bonded and united in the sacred institution of marriage may wish, for any number of reason, to free themselves from that union. For such people, Islam has left open the door of ‘talaq’ or divorce….but Islam has guided that just as at one time the two individuals agreed to unite with each other in love, and harmony, and peace….if at all it happens that they may wish to separate, they should do so with peace, and harmony, and generosity.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-131:

128 If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

129 Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

130 But if they disagree (and must part through divorce) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise.

131 To Allah belong all things in the heavens and on earth. Verily We have directed the people of the Book before you and you (O Muslims) to fear Allah. But if ye deny Him lo! unto Allah belong all things in the heavens and on earth and Allah is free of all wants worthy of all praise.

Dear and beloved brother, since your wife no longer wishes to remain married to you; and now you too do not want to keep her as your wife….the absolute best and easiest way for the two of you to get your freedom from each other is through a divorce.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 227-228:

227 But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

228 Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods, nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs (pregnancy), if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period (of ‘iddah) if they wish for reconciliation. And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

All you need to do is verbally declare ONLY ONCE to your wife that ‘I divorce you’; and a divorce between you and your wife will be established in the Sight of Shariah and of Allah Subhanah. Upon the declaration of your ONE divorce, you wife is required to perform the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of divorce which is three menstrual periods. If you do not take your wife back or conjugate with her during the prescribed period of ‘iddah’, a divorce between you and your wife will be finalized, the two of you will become non-mehrams to each other, and your wife will be absolutely free from you and it would be lawful for her to marry any other person, if she wishes to do so.

Beloved brother, we reiterate again that Islam has guided the believers that just as at one time the two individuals agreed to unite with each other in love, and harmony, and peace in the sacred institution of marriage….if at all it happens that they may wish to separate, they should do so with peace, and harmony, and generosity.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 19-21:

19 O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the ‘mehr’ ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

20 But if ye decide to take one wife in place of (by divorcing) another, even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for ‘mehr’, take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21 And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?

Your Question: if i want to marry another woman. do permission required from first wife in this above case.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one….

Allah Subhanah has permitted those believers who are absolutely confident that they will be able to do justice amongst their wives, to keep an absolute maximum of four wives at any one time….if they wish to do so. If a believer wishes to exercise the permission and allowance of the Lord to marry more than one wife, he does not need the permission of his first wife, or the permission of anyone in creation!

Dear and beloved brother, in your specific case where both you and your wife seek to separate from each other, it would only be best, and akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah Subhanah that you grant the divorce your wife seeks from you so desperately by simply declaring once to her ‘I divorce you’…..and then marry any lawful and chaste women of your choice.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan