Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Hi Assalamualiykum wrwb,

Dear Brother in Islam

please send me the answers for this questions, coz a Non Muslim family asked all this questions so I kindly request dear brother to send me the answers inshallah Allah will help you in all you do.

1. Do Muslim have the right or allowed to marry Christian?

2.So you mean you can have one wife if justice,lawful,fair,right,exact woman you found in the presence in your choice?

3. Do the husband had the power for the wife to convert her religion to Muslim?

4.If the Muslim married to a Christian do the husband has the right to the wife for fasting?

5.If your wife gave birth, what’s the religion of the child? Is it Christian or Muslim?

6.If the Christian married to Muslim do she change her way of clothing? And the style of dressing?

7.Is she beware of going places like disco, crowded places like park or mall?

8.Who is the head of the family if you were given a chance to be married. The husband or wife?

9.If one doesn’t have a good understanding do divorce is permitted in your religion?

10.One’s you are engaged what guarantee you can give to the better life of a woman you can trust, in your whole life to be the partner of your dreams except love?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marriage clarifications

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1: Do Muslim have the right or allowed to marry Christian?

Allah has given permission for the believing men to marry chaste women from amongst the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), if they wish to do so; but it is absolutely prohibited in Islam for a believing woman to marry anyone but a believer.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221: Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters) until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor marry (your women) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allure you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire. But Allah beckons by His grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness and makes His Signs clear to

mankind: that they may celebrate His praise.

Q-2: So you mean you can have one wife if justice,lawful,fair,right,exact woman you found in the presence in your choice?

Allah has given permission for a believer to marry and keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, provided he is able to deal with them with absolute equality and justice in terms of his division of time and his wealth. If the believer fears that he might not be able to deal justly amongst his wives with his time and his wealth, it would be better and purer for him to marry only one wife.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.

I would like to clarify here that Islam has only given permission and not commanded a believing man to marry upto a maximum of four wives, only if he wishes to do so. There is a huge difference between a command and a permission in Islam, and in both the above rulings of marrying a chaste women from amongst the People of the Book and keeping a maximum of four wives at any one time are permissions, not commands from the Lord All Knowing, All-Wise.

Q-3: Do the husband had the power for the wife to convert her religion to Muslim?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 256: Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth stands out clear from error; whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold that never breaks. And Allah heareth and knoweth all things.

Islam is a way of life which a person must only accept of his free will and choice; and none has the power nor the authority to force anyone to accept Islam as their way of life. The muslim husband may politely, patiently, and with wisdom only ‘invite’ his Christian or Jewish wife (if he has one) to accept Islam; to accept his invitation or reject it is in the sole power of the wife. She alone has the right and power to accept her husband’s invitation, or reject; the husband has absolutely no right or power to force his Chrisitan or Jewish wife to accept Islam.

If the wife is not convinced of the Truth of Islam, she is well within her rights given to her by Islam to reject her muslim husband’s invitation to become a believer and still remain his wife; and all the rights that are due to a wife in Islam shall be given to her in full. She also has the right to practice her own religion, if she wishes to do so.

Q-4: If the Muslim married to a Christian do the husband has the right to the wife for fasting?

If a believing man chooses to marry a chaste woman from amongst the Jews or the Christians, and she wishes to exercise her right to refuse to accept Islam as her deen; the husband has no right to force or coerce her to fast, or perform any of the Islamic acts or worship. She is well within her rights to practice her own religion, if she wishes to do so.

Q-5: If your wife gave birth, what’s the religion of the child? Is it Christian or Muslim?

The religion of a child born of a marriage between a believing man and a Christian or Jewish woman will be the religion of its father: ie. Islam.

Q-6: If the Christian married to Muslim do she change her way of clothing? And the style of dressing?

If the Jewish or Chrisitan wife of a believing husband exercises her right not to accept Islam as her way of life, she would not be required to fulfill any of the Shariah Laws, including the manner of dressing. If the Christian or Jewish wife of a muslim husband is chaste, it would obviously be better and purer for her to cover herself modestly and appropriately.

The command for dressing Islamically is only for the righteous and chaste believing woman who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day.

Q-7: Is she beware of going places like disco, crowded places like park or mall?

There is absolutely no restriction in Islam even for a believing woman to go to the park or the mall, provided she dresses appropriately and guards her modesty.

Beloved Brother, going to places like discos, etc. depends on the character and habits of the individual person. If a person does not believe or fear Allah and the Accounting of the Last Day, their biggest issue in life is how to enjoy and ‘pass’ their free time in earning the pleasures and luxuries of this transient and short worldly life. But one who recognizes, believes, and sincerely fears Allah and the Accounting of that Inevitable Day, his biggest issue in life is how to ‘utilize’ his time in doing good deeds which would earn him the Pleasure and Good Will of his Lord.

Q-8: Who is the head of the family if you were given a chance to be married. The husband or wife?

Just as there are never two Presidents or Prime Ministers or Kings in a country, and just as there are never two Managing Directors or Chief Executive Officers in an organization; Islam guides that every house is just like a small state and must be headed by only one authority.

The educated-modern-but-ignorant and un-Godly societies realize and accept the chaos and confusion two Kings or two Rulers in a nation would create, and realize well the utter disorder and turmoil two Managing Directors or two CEO’s in a company would create: but the same educated-modern-but-ignorant people do not realize nor accept the disorder two heads would create in running a household and thus they propagate equal leadership for the husband and the wife in a house. The chaos, confusion and disorder the disbelievers have created in their marriage by allowing two equal leaders in their household is open for all to see in their societies!

Contrary to the popular belief that man and woman are equal, Islam guides that the man and the woman are not equal; but rather they are balanced with each having been given their distinct and equally important duties and responsibilities according to their distinct natures. Thus rather than being equal and compete against each other in marriage, Islam guides that the husband and wife are balanced and should complement each other in their this sacred union.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228: And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them (in marriage) according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them, and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

Because of their specific and distinct nature and creation, Islam guides that the man has been bestowed with a degree of advantage over the woman; and it is the man who will be held responsible for heading a household.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their honor, their property, their house, etc.)

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.592 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it."

Q-9: If one doesn’t have a good understanding do divorce is permitted in your religion?

Islam recognizes that man and woman are two separate and distinct individuals who have their own likes and dislikes. Islam also recognizes that it is possible that two individuals who chose and promise to live with each other in peace, love, and harmony at one time, may have differences at a later date and has absolutely allowed a legal option and window to separate through divorce, if one amongst the two do not wish to continue living together as husband and wife.

Islam also guides that just as the two of them united in peace, love, and benevolence; if for any reason the two of them wish to separate, they should not start a mud-slinging match, but rather just as they united in peace and justice, if they wish to separate they should do so in peace, justice and benevolence.

Both, the husband and the wife have the right in Islam to initiate a divorce proceeding, if they do not wish to live together as husband and wife.

Q-10: One’s you are engaged what guarantee you can give to the better life of a woman you can trust, in your whole life to be the partner of your dreams except love?

Beloved brother in Islam, in whatever the Lord Creator creates, there is an absolute and unqualified guarantee that it will always be Perfect and Flawless; but it is in the bestowed nature of man, that he will err; thus there are absolutely never any guarantees in whatever man chooses to do!

Thus the absolute maximum man can do is to strive his best to come close to perfection, know fully well that ‘Perfection’ is a state which is never achievable except by the One Being Who Created the heavens and the earth and everything that exists in between, Who is Absolutely Perfect in everything that He Does!

If one simply just looks around one’s community, one would realize how many a relationship based and united on ‘love’ ended up seperating in nothing but ‘hatred’!

Thus, there are absolutely no guarantees in whatever man chooses to do; and that includes his choice to marry a woman he ‘loves’! But if one takes, obeys, follows and submits to the wise counsel and guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one would surely avoid the major pitfalls that work to ruin this sacred relationship of marriage.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser!"

The above simple, concise but absolutely invaluable advice of the one who was sent with the Truth, Mohamed The Messenger of Allah (saws), to the believers who choose to marry is to look for a righteous, pious, and God-fearing woman as their life-partner, otherwise they would surely be losers!

If one chooses to marry a woman because of her physical beauty, he should know that physical beauty is strictly time-bound, and will without a doubt, disappear with the passage of time! But if one chooses to marry a woman who has ‘spiritual’ beauty, he should know that ‘spiritual’ beauty is timeless and eternal, and if the person is pious, this ‘spiritual’ beauty only increases with the passage of time!

If one chooses to marry a woman because of her wealth, he should know that wealth is amongst the most disloyal of possessions; it comes at its own will, and leaves at its own will!

If one chooses to marry a woman because of her family lineage, one should know that many a pious parent have given birth to impious children; and there is absolutely no guarantee that one born of good lineage will adhere to the principles of goodness!

Thus the closest one can come to obtaining a guarantee of peace, tranquility, harmony and love in marriage is if one takes the wise counsel and guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and chooses to give weight to her ‘spiritual’ beauty and wealth of piety and God-consciousness; which can only be expected to increase with time! She would recognize her role, her duties, and her responsibilities in marriage and because she is one who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, it is expected that she would strive to live within the boundaries laid upon her by her Lord Creator.

Allah is our witness, there are absolutely no guarantees in choosing a woman to marry or having a successful marriage; but one would be a guaranteed ‘loser’ if one chooses to marry a woman for a reason other than her religion and her piety!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan