.i have also asked my husband to provide me with what he is comfortable without taking any burden on himself like i dont really expect the = treatment untill the time he is in a position to do so.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
dear brother,
i am second wife to my husband but before our
marraige we had very close relations as a result of which i got pregnant and
had to abort since we were not married. now we are married and after my husband
started goin in tabligh jamaat he and we both have realised the gratitude of
the grave sin v have comitted is there any kaffara for this so as we can save
ourselves from wrath of allah.
also my 2nd question is that since my inlaws are now aware that i am his wife
#2 they keep cursing me and most threatning part is that they always say and
pray that i should enter jahannam and that the day of qayamat will be tough on
me. i am scared with this, what should i do to win their hearts???? is there
any dua for the same?????do curses like this really affect?????as really this
bothers me the most. since i myself is educated and live in modern society i am
aware how difficult it is for first wife to compromise in this situation i have
given full freedom to my husband to spend as much as time he wills with his
first wife and that since our marraige past 6 months its only couple of nights
that my husband has stayed overnight for which i dont cribb since i realize the
situation.i have also asked my husband to provide me with what he is
comfortable without taking any burden on himself like i dont really expect the
= treatment untill the time he is in a position to do so.
pls reply to my query as soon as possible it will be a great help for both of
us.
may allah bless u for the good work yor forum
is doing
your sister in islam
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Taubah and secret marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: we both have realised the gratitude of the
grave sin v have comitted is there any kaffara for this so as we can save
ourselves from wrath of allah.
Whatever deeds one might have done, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere
Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah
Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of
such a believer, even if one has
committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’!
Not only that, our Lord is so
Merciful and Generous, that He not only
will forgive the sins of the believer,
He will change his evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or
Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he
will not repeat his sin again.
Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of
death.
Is a believer and does righteous good deeds
thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own
souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!
Surely, Allah forgives all
sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin,
remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who,
but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,
and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verses 63-71: The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk
humbly on the earth. When the ignorant
people behave insolently towards them,
they say, “Peace to you”; (And
those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before
their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save
us from the torment of Hell, for its
torment is killing! It is an evil
abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly,
but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but
Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has
forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who
does this shall be punished for his sin,
and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of
ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE
REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE
BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For
then, Allah will change his evil deeds
into good deeds, and He is very
Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly
should!
My dear and beloved sister in Islam, regardless of
whatever you might have done in your past in ignorance, if you sincerely seek
sincere repentance and forgiveness from your Lord Most Gracious; it is expected
that He will completely wipe out your sins from your Book of Records.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Your Question: also my 2nd question is that since my
inlaws are now aware that i am his wife #2 they keep cursing me and most
threatning part is that they always say and pray that i should enter jahannam
and that the day of qayamat will be tough on me. i am scared with this, what
should i do to win their hearts????
My dear and beloved sister, it is Allah Subhanah who has
given permission to the believers to marry more than once upto a maximum of
four wives at any one time, if they wishes to do so. If your husband has chosen to exercise his
right and legally married you as his second wife, Allah is our witness, he (and
you) have done nothing illegal in the sight of Allah and Islamic Law.
It is possible that your in-laws do not understand the
Islamic injunction and permission, and have sided with the first wife and turned
against you in their ignorance. Beloved
Sister, I assure you that this is only a temporary reaction, and once they
realize that you are not a threat to the first wife, and your husband is fair
and just between his wives; this enmity, threats and abuse will disappear and
they will love and honor you just as they love and honor the first wife.
Your Question: what should i do to win their hearts????
My dear and beloved sister, although you are not required
to put up with their abuse and threats; it would be a source of earning extra
rewards from the Lord Most Merciful for you, if you displayed extreme patience
and wisdom regardless of what they say or do, and be a sincere well-wisher of
your in-laws in your words and your deeds.
Whatever they say or do against you, you remain polite and display
extreme patience, and never ever react or take revenge on them for what they
utter and do in their ignorance; but rather bring yourself to forgive them from
your heart, and beg and implore your Lord Most Merciful to have mercy on
them.
If you can bring yourself to this state of patience, perseverance,
and wisdom; Allah is our witness, not only will you win their hearts, you will
earn huge rewards for your patience from your Lord Most Merciful, Who is well
aware of the condition of each in His Supreme Creation!
Your Question: is there any dua for the same?????
My beloved sister, dua alone without sincere deeds would
not produce the required results! Remain
constant in your supplications to your Lord to have Mercy on you and them, help
you and them to understand and accept the situation, and implore Him constantly
day and night to change their enmity into sincere mutual love, honor and
respect. Whenever they say or do
something that hurts you, immediately take refuge in Allah from the Shaytaan
who inspires mankind to fight back and retaliate; and implore and beg your Lord
in all humility to bestow upon you the wisdom, the patience, and the courage to
honorably bear their attitude towards you and/or your husband.
Allah is our witness sister, when they see your sublime
and supreme character in your behavior with them; they will change their
attitude towards you and learn to honor and love and respect you as an
individual and as a member of their family.
And above all, if you display patience and understanding, you will earn
huge rewards from your Lord Most Merciful, Who is well aware of the exact
conditions of each in His Creation!
Your Question: do curses like this really affect?????
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.628 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet sent Mu'adh to
Beloved sister, invocations of curses if done by one who
is oppressed definitely have weight in the Sight and Presence of Allah
Subhanah. But if one invokes curses for
no genuine reason, they have absolutely no weight or effect with Allah
Subhanah; but rather the curse befalls on the person who cursed another without
genuine reason!
If the only reason your in-laws curse you is because your
husband chose to exercise his right to honor you as his second wife; rest
assured that their curses have absolutely no weight in the Sight and Presence
of Allah Subhanah. If such is the case,
you are the one who is being oppressed for no genuine reason; thus regardless
of whatever they say or do, you practice supreme patience and remain constant
in your sincere supplications to your Lord Most Merciful to forgive them their
deeds and words of oppression towards you.
Your Statement: since i myself is educated and live in
modern society i am aware how difficult it is for first wife to compromise in
this situation i have given full freedom to my husband to spend as much as time
he wills with his first wife and that since our marraige past 6 months its only
couple of nights that my husband has stayed overnight for which i dont cribb
since i realize the situation.i have also asked my husband to provide me with
what he is comfortable without taking any burden on himself like i dont really
expect the = treatment untill the time he is in a position to do so.
Beloved Sister, may Allah Subhanah reward you and count
your these wise and noble acts as your acts of patience and wisdom and may
Allah reward you from His Infinite and Unending Grace and Bounty for your
sacrifices. Allah Subhanah is well aware
of the exact condition of each in His creation, and no good act or deed a
believer does goes unrewarded in the Majestic Presence of the Lord All-Knowing,
All-Wise.
If you, of your own free will and choice, have chosen to
relieve your husband some of your due rights only so that you may lessen his
burden during these trying times for the both of you; rest assured that you
will have your reward from the Lord Most Merciful, Most Gracious.
My beloved sister, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers
in Islam, we implore you to continue with your these acts of wisdom and
patience; and remain constant in your supplication to your Lord Most
Merciful. Insha-Allah, if the Lord Most
Merciful Wills and Pleases, the day is not far when your these supreme
sacrifices will pay you huge dividends not only in the life of this world, but
also in the everlasting and eternal life of the Hereafter, Insha Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah
Haa-Meem verses 34-36:
34 Nor can Goodness and Evil (ever) be
equal. Repel (evil) with what is better
(goodness): then will he, between whom and thee was hatred, become as it were
thy friend and intimate!
35 And no one will be granted such goodness
except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the
greatest good fortune.
36 And if (at any time) an incitement to
discord is made to thee by the Shaytaan, seek refuge in Allah. He is the One Who Hears and Knows all things.
May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, and reward
you with the best in this life and the Herafter. Ameen.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan
Wister