Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan,

Assalam-O-Alaikum!

I am a married person and have a beautiful daughter. Before marrying my wife, I tried my best to marry a girl to whom I loved for about 14 years. She also loved me a lot but her father refused my proposal. She was married to a doctor as she could not stand against her father`s decision. Although my wife is very nice but I still love that girl. I never disturbed her married life but I cannot stop myself loving her. can you please tell me that if it is ok to have love feelings (without any bad intentions) for a married girl who was so important for me. I can never forget her love.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Married but love first love

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Beloved Brother in Islam, it is only natural that when one has lived an age, there would be some good and some bad memories engraved in one’s heart of the past. If one unintentionally thinks about a person he was close to before his marriage, there would be no sin upon the person; provided he does not take steps or do deeds that would re-ignite that relationship in any way whatsoever.

If the person fears Allah, and only because of that fear of Allah and the Last Day refrains himself from thinking about the married girl who was once close to his heart, he will receive a huge reward from the Lord Most Merciful for his abstinence.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 235 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said that Allah Subhanah, High and Exalted He is Says: ‘When it occurs to my bondsman that he should do a good deed but he actually does not do it, I record one good deed for him; but if he puts it into practice, I make an entry of ten good acts in his favour. When it occurs to him to do evil, but he does not commit it, I forgive that. But if he commits it, I record one evil deed against his name.’ The Angels said: ‘That bondsman of Yours intends to commit evil, though His Lord is more Vigilant than he. Upon this He (the Lord) Says: ‘Watch him; if he commits (evil), write it against his name, but if he refrains from doing it, write one good deed for him, for he desisted from doing it for My sake.’ The Messenger of Allah (saws) then said: ‘He who amongst you is of good faith, all his good acts are multiplied from ten to seven hundred times (and are recorded in his name) and all the evils that he commits are recorded as such (i.e. without increase) until he meets Allah.’

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan