Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I was married at the age of 15. I was with him for 1 year with long intervals and later he went away leaving me at my parent`s house n didnt turn up for 5 years and now he is here and wants me to continue with me, but I dont wanna continue him coz I neither love him nor respect him. But my parents force me to go back. I tried hard to make up my mind and continue with my husband but in vain. I know very well that I cant go with him now. Can u tell me whatever I m doing is permissible under shariyah? Can you suggest me a way out of my problem

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Husband returns after long time

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

If as you have declared your husband did not turn up for five years one year after your marriage, and thus obviously he was unable to fulfill his duties and responsibilities towards you as his wife….you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce proceedings against your husband if you wish to do so, and there would be no sin or blame upon you. If your husband disappeared for five years and did not care to fulfill his marital duties towards you without genuine reason, it is he who will be answerable for his transgression and injustice in the Just and Supreme Court of Allah Subhanah.

If you have made up your mind to separate from your husband, the one and only way is to initiate a divorce proceedings against him and seek legal separation; for unless and until a proper divorce is established, you would remain his legally wedded wife. It would neither be right nor permissible in Shariah for a man and woman to separate indefinitely without establishing a divorce.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan