How a wife's duties for the job of "house'wife" can go against above 3 Quranic Ayats?
Mu' meneen Brothers
and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamo Alaykum,
A QUESTION
In your answer to question No. 4250 dated 9 September, re: wife's duty, you have mentioned as under:
Quote:
"Thus in essence, the cooking, washing, and
cleaning of the house is theduty and responsibility of the men in Islam and not
the women."
"If the woman
does not will to cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it
himself or provide a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for
the upkeep and maintenance of his house and family."
Unquote.
However, Allah has said in the following 2 Ayats, that it is wife, from whom the husband will get TRANQUILITY.
"He it is Who did create you from a single soul, and
therefrom did make his mate that he might take rest (LE YASKUNA i.e. SOOKUN
i.e. TRANQUILITY) in her. And when he covered her she bore a light burden, and
she passed (unnoticed) with it, but when
it became heavy they cried unto Allah, their
Lord, saying: If thou givest unto us aright we shall be of the
thankful."(7:189)
"And of His signs is this: He created for you helpmeets from
yourselves that ye might find rest (LE
TASKUNOO i.e. SOOKUN i.e. TRANQUILITY) in them, and He ordained between you
love and mercy. Lo! herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect."
(30:21)
And based on these
2 Ayats, as per Allah's order, the wife is fully responsible to provide
TRANQUILITY i.e. SOOKUN i.e REST to husband by doing the job of house, since
the husband's job is to earn for her, to provide her food and shelter, to
maintain her, to look after her and to be her
protector, as Allah's order in 4:34.
How a wife's duties for the job of
"house'wife" can go against above 3 Quranic Ayats?
Thanks and regards.
Wassalam.
(There may be some
grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not
change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our
readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
Duties of Wife
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: And based on these 2 Ayats, as per
Allah's order, the wife is fully responsible to provide TRANQUILITY i.e. SOOKUN
i.e REST to husband by doingthe job of house, since the husband's job is to
earn for her, to provide her food and shelter, to maintain her, to look after
her and to be her
protector, as Allah's order in 4:34.
How a wife's duties for the job of
"house'wife" can go against above 3
Quranic Ayats?
Dear and beloved brother, we
sincerely apologize if our article has given rise to any misunderstanding, and
we appreciate that you have allowed us the opportunity to clarify our
statements made.
First and foremost, it is not
as if the wife, of her own free will, wishes to work and thus supplement her
husband’s burden in running the house, or does any housework for the upkeep of
her home will be going against the Commands of Allah or tenets of Islam. It would only be considered righteousness and
fair that if need be, the believing woman do her share in the upkeep of the
house; but the money she spends or the housework she does is not within her prescribed
scope of duties and responsibilities which Islam has laid upon her. If any wife, of her own free will, chooses to
help share in the expense or do any chore of the house, she would be doing so
over and above her duties and responsibilities that Islam has laid upon
her.
Thus all we were trying to
clarify is that as is the norm in the Ummah today, the husband assumes that the
chores of the house are amongst the duties and responsibilities of a wife, and
that he demands and assumes that it is the wife who should do the chores… but Islamic
Law dictates that the duty and responsibility of the complete household and its
upkeep lies on the shoulders of the husband, and it is his responsibility that
he maintains not only the expenses of the house and his wife, but even its
complete upkeep. He may fulfill this
responsibility by doing these chores himself, or by providing a servant or maid
to do it, or any other way convenient to him…but the husband should know that
it is his responsibility, and if his wife of her own free will chooses to help
in doing the chores of the house, he should at least appreciate and be grateful
for her help and her efforts.
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:
34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of
women because Allah
has given the one more than the other and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard (their chastity, their and their husband’s honor, her husband’s
property, etc.)
To dwell and live in
tranquility, love, mercy with each other in marriage is one thing, and to take
on and assume the responsibility of the household and its chores is another. Peace, love, mercy, honor, respect and
tranquility in marriage is more to do with the nature, manners, and dealings of
one-another in a relationship rather than the doing of the chores of the house.
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 189:
189 It is He who created you from a single
person and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her
(in love and tranquility).
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He
created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity
with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that
are Signs for those who reflect.
For example, if a woman is
given or takes on the responsibility of doing the chores of the house and she
cooks and cleans perfectly, but is not willing to honor, respect, or be
grateful for the favors of her husband on her, and does not talk to him with a
straight face…will the relationship between the husband and wife be one of
peace, love and tranquility??
On the other hand, if the husband
fulfils his duty and provides for his wife and the house, and provides the
servant to do the household chores, etc.; but is not willing to honor, or
respect, or cherish, or talk to his wife with mercy and patience, will the
relationship between the husband and the wife be one of peace and tranquility??
Dear and beloved brother, peace
and tranquility in a household does not depend on what is provided but rather
on the nature and manner the husband and wife love and appreciate each other in
their relationship.
Just as a wife is allowed to
earn and supplement the expense burden of her husband in the running of house,
she is also allowed to help in doing the chores of the house; provided she does
so of her own free will and choice and an as extension of her love for her
husband, and not as her prescribed responsibility and duty. And when the wife earns to supplement the
expense burden of the house, or helps in doing the household chores, the
husband should realize and appreciate the help offered by his wife rather than
assuming, demanding, or commanding that it is her responsibility to do so!
If the believing husbands of
the Ummah could only understand this fact and appreciate the efforts of their
wives in maintaining the chores of their house, a lot of the tranquility which
is eroded by the constant blaming and finding faults in the chores of the
house, their appreciative gesture would go a long way in re-building that
elusive peace, honor, respect and tranquility in the relationship between a
husband and a wife in marriage.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3263 Narrated by Aisha
Allah's Messenger
(saws) said, "Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those
who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah
ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger
(saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am
the best among you to my family."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's
Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he (saws) replied, "The
one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a
command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by
doing anything of which he disapproves."
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best
and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Burhan