I have been stressed with a very big problem on my hands. My wife has asked to stop keeping relations with my family.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalmalaikum
brother, I have been stressed with a very big problem on my hands. My wife has
asked to stop keeping relations with my family. According to her, their
presence in our life only causes problems for us. They don`t get along and now
she has told me that if I want to continue to interact with them she would
leave me. Please advise.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Break relations with family
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse 25:
As for those who break
their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder
relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on
the earth, their’s shall be the curse,
and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray
only those who disobey Allah, who break
Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what
Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the
Earth. These are indeed the people who
are the losers.
The Prophet (saws)
said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one
of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one
who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever
the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith
and kin).
Allah 's Messenger
(saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his
lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith
and kin."
It is absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an abomination
of a sin in the Sight of Allah for one to break or sever ties or relationships
of blood which the Lord Himself has created for them!
My dear and beloved brother, as much as one may love one’s
wife and strive to honor and cherish and fulfill all their lawful needs and
wants, one should know with absolute conviction that if ones wife were to leave
him, he could easily find himself another wife….but even if he were to search
the expanse of the heavens and the earth, he would not be able to find himself
another father or mother who gave him birth and unconditionally loved,
nourished, protected, and cherished him his full life!!!
If ones parents and one’s wife don’t get along, it would
be prudent and wise to give the wife a separate accommodation and space….but
under absolutely no condition should a son ever even contemplate breaking or
severing his relations or being undutiful towards his parents and his
blood-relations.
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the
(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,
(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,
(3) To commit murder,
(4) And to give a false witness."
Beloved brother, Allah is our witness, second only to the most
heinous and gravest of crimes in Islam, ie. ‘shirk’ or associating another god
in worship with Allah Subhanah, is for one to be undutiful to one’s parents…..leave
alone breaking or severing relations with them!
Whatever one’s condition may be,
whatever the consequences it may bring, whatever the situation….there is
absolutely no excuse for one to break or sever relations which Allah Subhanah
has Himself made for them.
And if one’s wife has threatened that she would leave him
if he does not fulfill her wish to sever his relations with his parents, then
so be it!!! Allah is our witness
brother, you will easily be able to replace a wife, but never ever will you be
able to replace your parents and blood-relatives!!!
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in
Islam,
Burhan
Wister