Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am working here in SaudiArabia in a construction company. I recently married few months ago.My wife is doctor but her house job is still remaining for 6 months. she and me both want to complete the house job first and then come back to Saudia. My wife said according to islam, if your husband is not living with you, its not good to live in Susral. or she wana move to her parent`s home. But my parents are old and only they are living in the house and they are mahram to her. My one brother and sister married living in other countires. My question is that , do islam give the right to girl to live in her parent`s home if her husband is working outside of country ? Her argument is according to Shariah ?

Please let me know.

Jawwad,

Jeddah,

32 years,

Mechanical engineer.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Wife rights with mother in law

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their modesty and chastity, the honor and property of their husband, etc.)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.’

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."

In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah the responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife is only towards making sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her in every aspect of her life! The wife has absolutely no duties or responsibilities laid upon her by Islam towards her husband’s family or ‘in-laws’, including the husband’s parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, etc.

Thus, in essence, if a believing woman worships Allah Subhanah as He Alone deserves to be worshipped, preserves her chastity, and strives to the best of her ability to please her husband, the Messenger of Allah (saws) declared that she will be given the honor to enter the Eternal Gardens of Paradise by the gates of her choice!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

Having said that she has absolutely no responsibility towards her husband’s family, does not in any way mean or imply that she is allowed to be rude, or disrespectful, or dishonor them in any way. She must at all times strive to develop good cordial relations with her in-laws.

But if the believing woman does, of her own free will, serve the parents or family of her husband, she would be doing a deed of ‘ehsaan’, a deed which would be over and above her duties and responsibilities; and Allah Subhanah has time and again declared in the Glorious Quran that He absolutely loves those believers who do ‘ehsaan’ or deeds which are over and above their role of duty and responsibility.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 134 (part):

134 …. for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imraan verse 148:

148 And Allah gave them a reward in this world and the excellent reward of the Hereafter. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 195 (part):

195 … and do ‘ehsaan’; for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 93 (part):

93 ….. For Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).

Thus if one is fortunate enough to marry a wife who not only obeys her husband, but also, of her own free will, serves the parents or family of her husband (her in-laws); the husband should be grateful to such a wife for her ‘ehsaan’ or deeds done over and above her duties and responsibilities.

Your Question: My question is that , do islam give the right to girl to live in her parent`s home if her husband is working outside of country ? Her argument is according to Shariah ?

If for any reason whatsoever, the wife is not comfortable living with her in-laws in the same house, the wife indeed has a right in Islam to demand a separate accommodation from the husband’s family, and if the husband has the means, he should fulfill this rightful demand of his wife.

But the right that the wife does not have is to demand that the husband too move away from his family and responsibilities and live with her in her separate accommodation. If there is none to take care and serve one’s parents, then it is the duty and responsibility of the husband to stay with his parents and serve them until their last breath with absolute humility, politeness, and kindness.

If the husband does not possess the means to fulfill his wife’s lawful demand that he provide her with a separate accommodation, and the wife requests her husband to allow her to live with her own parents until he fulfills her rightful demand to a separate accommodation, there is absolutely no harm if the husband accedes to her request and allows the wife to live with her parents.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan