Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother Burhan.

i am a young and probably dont know what is wrong and what is right. however five years ago i saw a boy and in my case i fell in love with him. now i dont know whether love is harram or its not but i really want to know because by saying i love this person i dont want to be committing a sin. i love this boy and respect him with all my heart, but unlike other boys i cant call him brother. for all my other friends are all my brothers and they all call me sister. i keep having dreams of me and this boy getting married everyday and i just want him to myself i dont know whats happening to me. i really want to know if im taking the wrong step. i am scared that i maybe taking the wrong step. i love him a lot and i care for him and always try and stop him from doing the wrong thing, i cant concentrate anymore because all i think about is him and why he isnt concentrating well anymore or why he`s depressed. as i said before i keep having dreams of me and him getting married and i also want to know what these dreams mean.
i need urgent help because i dont want to take the wrong path. so if you please reply to me as soon as possible.

thank you your sister

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Fall in love

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: now i dont know whether love is harram or its not but i really want to know because by saying i love this person i dont want to be committing a sin.

Dear and Beloved Sister, love-hate, like-dislike, joy-sorrow, smile-weep, etc. are natural emotions of mankind! What determines virtue and sin is what one says or does when one experiences these natural emotions!

To love someone is a natural emotion, and there is absolutely no sin if one loves another person; it is what one does after one has fallen in love with that person which would determine whether it would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah or a sin!

If one falls in love, and informs one’s guardians that they love so and so, and requests them to sanctify their love in the sacred bond of marriage so that they may love each other for the rest of their lives would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

But if one falls in love, and strives to meet the person in secret and in private, and in their love transgress the boundaries of Allah Subhanah before they are united in the sacred bond of marriage; then indeed it would constitute a huge sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Your Statement: as i said before i keep having dreams of me and him getting married and i also want to know what these dreams mean.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.144 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When the Day of Resurrection approaches, the dreams of a believer will hardly fail to come true, and a dream of a believer is one of forty-six parts of Prophetism, and whatever belongs to Prophetism can never be false." Muhammad bin Sirin said, "But I say this." He said, "It used to be said, 'There are three types of dreams:

The reflection of one's thoughts and experiences one has during wakefulness,

what is suggested by Satan to frighten the dreamer,

or glad tidings from Allah.

So, if someone has a dream which he dislikes, he should not tell it to others, but get up and offer a prayer.'"

Beloved sister, because the boy is constantly in your thoughts during your hours of wakefulness, in all probabilities the dreams that you have of the brother are no more than an extension and reflection of your thoughts you have during wakefulness. Dreams cannot be used or relied upon when one is deciding or choosing one’s life partner; one needs to determine the eligibility of one’s partner through one’s intelligence, experience, investigation and above all else, the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan