Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

i would like to get some suggestion about a problem that i have been facing for sometime.....i have a friend,who is really sensitive,and sometimes gets angry at very little things,even if it is not my fault....but i always go and try to restore our friendship,and i even apologise,even when it isnt my fault....some other friends of mine say that i will loose my self-respect if i keep doing that,and that i should let this friend know if i get hurt so that this wouldnt happen again......but all i have in mind is that we have been commanded to forgive people and give them second chances and restore relations, and have patience and not hurt them...isnt that right?i really get hurt when this friend starts ignoring me whenever we have a misunderstanding...and it is always i who tries to end the fight,and make an effort to clear everything....do you think i should stop doing that?i dont want to confuse self-respect with ego...please tell me how i should act when i have a misunderstanding again.... 

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Answer:

Repel evil with good

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah Haa Meem verses 34-35:

34 Nor can goodness and evil (ever) be equal! Repel (evil) with that which is better (goodness): then will he, between whom and thee was hatred, become as it were thy friend and intimate!

35 And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint; none but persons of the greatest good fortune.

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, Islam guides that the character, dealings, and relations of a believer should always be ‘straight’, absolutely regardless of how the other party chooses to treat them….if one finds that the other party deals with them ‘straight’ and with justice, one should treat them with in a manner which is even ‘straighter’ than theirs….and if one finds that the other deals with them in a ‘crooked’ manner or with injustice, Islam guides that the believer should still treat them in a ‘straight’ manner and with justice.

Although it requires a world of courage and patience to repel the evil of others by doing genuine goodness towards them, without an iota of a doubt, if that person who did evil to you has even an iota of good in their hearts, there will come a time when they will feel ashamed and remorse at their evil, and their enmity and hatred will turn into sincere and lasting friendship.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan