Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Is a married man seeking a 2nd wife commiting a sin because his first wife is not agreeable for him to have a 2nd woman in his life? Is the 2nd woman commiting a sin by refusing this man even though he will be a suitable husband for her but doesn't love him and won't agree to be a

second wife? The man is insistently pursuing her..

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Is agreeing to second marriage a sin?

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then (marry) only one.

The one and only restriction that Islam puts on a person who wants to practice polygamy is ‘justice’! Justice and equality in the time he spends with each of them, on the amount he spends on each of them, on the gifts he gives to each of them, etc.

Your Question: Is a married man seeking a 2nd wife commiting a sin because his first wife is not agreeable for him to have a 2nd woman in his life?

Allah Subhanah has permitted the believing man, that if he wishes to do so, he may have upto a maximum of four wives at any one time. If the man decides to exercise this right given to him by Allah Subhanah, there is absolutely no sin upon him.

There is absolutely no condition in Islam that the husband has to take the permission, or have the consent of his first wife, to marry a second woman!

Your Question: Is the 2nd woman commiting a sin by refusing this man even though he will be a suitable husband for her but doesn't love him and won't agree to be a second wife?

Allah Subhanah has given the woman the right to accept or refuse a proposal for her marriage. The man may propose to a woman and ask for her hand in marriage to be his second wife; but it is the woman who has the sole right to accept or refuse his proposal.

If for any reason the woman does not wish to marry the man, there is absolutely no sin upon her.

Your Statement: The man is insistently pursuing her..

The man has a right to politely approach the ‘wali’ or guardian of the woman, and seek her hand in marriage. Once the woman or the ‘wali’ has rejected his proposal, it would not be considered righteousness at all to insistently pursue or pester them in accepting his proposal. As much as the man has the right to send the proposal, he must also have respect for their right to reject his proposal.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan