Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalaam Aalikum,

1. My name is umme salma, i just wanted to know the meaning of my name,

2. I always get very angry on all my family members & to all other peoples, & i will start shouting on them, i could not control my anger, so pls can you help me, say me some aayat to receit to control my anger & speak to all with calm & respect.

awaiting for your reply

Allah Hafiz

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Answer:

Name Umme Salma

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1: My name is umme salma, i just wanted to know the meaning of my name,

The literal meaning of the Arabic term ‘Umm’ is mother and ‘Salma’ is peaceful; thus ‘Umme-Salma’ would literally mean the mother of one who is peaceful.

Incidentally, ‘Umme-Salma’ also happens to be the name of one of the mother of the believers and chaste wives of Prophet Mohamed (saws).

Q-2: I always get very angry on all my family members & to all other peoples, & i will start shouting on them, i could not control my anger, so pls can you help me, say me some aayat to receit to control my anger & speak to all with calm & respect.

‘Anger’ like love, sadness, happiness, weeping, etc. is a natural emotion of a human being, and it is possible that at an occurrence or incident one may ‘trigger’ or experience the emotion of anger. Thus when one experiences the natural emotion of anger there is no sin, and one will not be accountable for one’s anger, but what one does or says when one is angry will definitely be taken to account by their Lord All-Mighty. It is the deeds a person does when one is angry that will determine their reward or punishment in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.11

Malik related from Ibn Shihab from Humayd ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, lest I forget." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Do not be angry."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5145 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

Allah's Messenger (saws) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

The Prophet (saws) said: A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4762 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Two men reviled each other in the presence of the Prophet (saws) and one of them became excessively angry so much so that I thought that his nose will break up on account of excess of anger. The Prophet (saws) said: ‘I know a phrase which, if he repeated, he could get rid of this angry feeling.’ They asked: ‘What is it, O Messenger of Allah (saws)?’ He (saws) replied: ‘He should say: ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan.’

The emotion of anger is instigated by the accursed enemy of man, the Shaytaan; and as soon as one experiences anger and before one does anything which one regrets, one should first and foremost and immediately seek refuge in Allah The Most High from the accursed Shaytaan by declaring ‘Aoodobillahe minas Shaytaan-ar-rajeem’ (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan); it is expected that Allah Subhanah will protect the person who sincerely declares this statement from the instigations of the Shaytaan.

If the anger still persists, the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided that the person must immediately sit down if one is standing, and if one is sitting, one should cleave the earth and lie down. (Have you ever seen a person lying down being angry??)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5114 Narrated by Abu Dharr

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."

If that does not work to appease one’s anger, one must perform the ‘wudu’ (ablution); and if the anger still persists after ablution, one should offer a couple of rakah of ‘nafl’ prayers; and if the anger still persists, one should leave the place and go for a walk or a drive.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4766 Narrated by Atiyyah as-Sa'di

AbuWa'il al-Qass said: ‘We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and said: “My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Messenger of Allah (saws) as saying: ‘Anger comes from the Shaytaan, the Shaytaan was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.”’

If one swallows or appeases one’s anger, one would be liable for huge rewards from their Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.12

Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is he who contains himself when he is angry."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5116 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than anger he restrains, seeking to please Allah, The Most High."

Respected sister, whenever you find yourself in a situation which gives vent to anger, immediately seek refuge in Allah Subhanah from the evil of the Shaytaan by declaring ‘Aoodobillahe minas Shaytaan-ar-rajeem’ (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan); and also recite the 113^th Surah Al-Falaq and 114^th Surah An-Naas as often as you can….. it is expected that Allah Subhanah will protect one who sincerely wishes to seek refuge in Him from the instigations of the accursed Shaytaan.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan