Married woman loves another
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
This is my first time to write to you. Before I start,
can I please request to you to keep my mail confidential and reply to me alone
.
I am a married muslim woman without children. I married
a non muslim, but he had reverted to Islam before marriage. he is a good human
being but its been more than a year for our marriage and he does not practice
Islam at all. T hats one part of the story, The other part is i have
fallen in love with a muslim guy who is 8 years younger to me, this happened 5
months after my marriage. Honestly, I was very much in love with my
husband, we shared and still share a good healthy relationship but now its been
almost 6,7 months i have known this other person and we both are
totally in love with each other. I never planned for this to happen, it
just happened, since 4,5 months now, there has been no physical relation
between my husband and me. Maybe its Allah's wish because, firstly, even though
my husband is a good person, he didn't practise Islam and now i know that he
never will. Thanks to this other person I have started wearing Hijab/Abaya now,
which i never did. My husband was very upset due to my wearing the Hijab. This
other person has brought me closer to Islam and he is my soul mate. He is a
very good islamic Man and i am really looking forward to starting my life with
him.
My questions are:-
1. After i separate from my husband ( which is
inshyallah next month) after how long can me and the other person do Nikah and
what are the steps to be taken.
2. will the presence of my family be compulsory for the
Nikah?
3. will our age difference be a problem?
4. Will I be punished for what i am doing? ( falling in
love with another man, when i am already in Nikah with someone else?
5 . how do i go about breaking the Nikah vows?
I will be eagerly waiting for your reply. Please reply only to me.
Please forgive me if i have offended to you in any way in my mail. May Allah
Bless You.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Married woman loves
another
In the name of Allah,
We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah
guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide
them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah
Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the
seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: After i separate from my husband ( which is
inshyallah next month) after how long can me and the other person do Nikah and
what are the steps to be taken.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228:
228 Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly
periods; nor is it lawful
for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs if they have faith in
Allah and the Last Day.
For a divorce to be established
in Shariah, it is absolutely obligatory for the woman, who sincerely fears
Allah and the Last Day, to fulfill her waiting period of ‘iddah’ of three
menstruation periods after the divorce has been pronounced. It is only after the period of ‘iddah’ has
expired that the woman would be deemed free in Shariah Law to marry any
eligible believer of her choice.
Q-2. Will the presence of my family be compulsory for the
Nikah?
In a moral and righteous society
that Islam strives to build, it is inconceivable that a believing woman, who
sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, would seek to marry someone herself
without the prior consultation and consent of her parents/guardians
(wali).
The absolute majority of the
scholars in Islam are of the opinion that under normal circumstances the
consent of the bride to her marriage is an obligatory condition of an Islamic
marriage; but under some specific circumstances (like when the girl has
reverted to Islam but her parents or guardians are disbelievers, or the parents
of the bride are deceased, etc.), the bride may appoint one amongst her
relatives or one amongst the believers as her ‘wali’, or the ‘Judge’ of the
Shariah Court may act as her ‘wali’, and give her hand in marriage to the
suitor.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood
Hadith 2078 Narrated byAisha, Ummul
Mu'minin
The Messenger of
Allah (saws) said: ‘The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of
her guardians (wali) is void.’ (He (saws) said these words three times.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger
(saws) said, "A woman may not give another woman in marriage, nor may she
give herself in marriage; for (it is only) the immoral woman who gives herself
in marriage."
Under normal circumstances,
especially when the parents of the girl are alive and are believers, it would
not behove and befit a believing woman who sincerely fears Allah and the Last
Day, to marry someone without the prior consent of her parents/guardians.
What is obligatory and a
requirement of the ‘nikaah’ in Islam is the consent of the guardian (wali) of
the bride, not their physical presence.
Q-3: Will our age difference be a problem?
The age or age difference
between two eligible partners in a marriage is not an issue in Islamic
Law. Regardless of whether the man is
older than the woman or the woman is older than the man she seeks to marry,
provided all the obligations of the marriage are met, such a marriage would be
deemed legal and lawful in Islamic Law.
Q-4: Will I be punished for what i am doing? ( falling in
love with another man, when i am already in Nikah with someone else?
For a woman bonded in the sacred
institution of marriage to ‘fall in love’ with another man is without an iota
of a doubt a grave sin in Islam!
Q-5: How do i go about breaking the Nikah vows?
If she has an absolutely valid
reason, a believing woman is well within her rights to seek a divorce in her
marriage. This divorce can be initiated
in one of two ways:
- The wife informs the husband that she no
longer wishes to remain in matrimony with him and requests him to declare
or pronounce a ‘divorce’ unto her.
After the husband declares the divorce, the wife must honor her
‘iddah’ of divorce which is waiting for three menstrual periods. At the expiry of her waiting period of
‘iddah’, a legal divorce is established between the husband and the wife
and the wife is free to marry any eligible person she wills.
- If the husband refuses to accede to the
request of divorce from his wife, the wife would have to approach a
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me alone. Allah Alone
Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister