Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan,

I am in a great dilemma and want to have a peace of mind and practical solution for the situation I am facing.

I am very much in love with girl  and want to marry her. She has brought good and positive changes in me and has been my motivation for doing good things in life and for my family. I have told this to my family but unfortunately my father is against it because he has come to know that the reputation of girl's mother is not good through other sources and he does not want to tarnish his reputation and image by making any relation with the girl's family. However, there is no proof for that yet, its just that people have wrong opinion. We do not know what is the truth in this information but my father is just counting on the information of  the people. She is a politician as well and hence there must be people who are against her and would talk rubbish.Moreover, he is under the impression that daughter always go on her mother which is also a concern for my father. What does Islam says about this? I know if I marry this Girl she would be a good wife and daughter in law Inshallah as she is really good at heart. I do not want to hurt girl's feeling now as we have come a long way and I  believe that even if her mother is like that 'Why should she bear the pain for that, what is her mistake'?Please suggest.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon and please keep this confidential.

Thanks

Allah hafiiz

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Father parent refusal to marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verse 54:

54 It is He Who has created man from water: then has He established relationships through blood and (through) marriage: for thy Lord has Power (over all things).

Islam guides that a marriage is not merely a union of two people who love each other, but rather a sacred union that unites two whole families….thus if one is faced with a situation whereby their son is so in ‘love’ with an eligible girl (believer, chaste, etc.) and the parents of the boy are satisfied with the character and the practice of religion of the girl…..they should accede with the choice and request of their son.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Although the consent of the boy’s parents is not an obligatory condition of a marriage in Islam, it would only be piety and righteousness on the part of the son to make sure that he has the approval and consent of his parents before he marries the girl. If for any reason one finds that their parents are just not willing to consent to their choice, it would be better to marry another girl whom the boy and the parents both approve of….for marriage is but a ‘Sunnah’ (voluntary), but to obey one’s parents is ‘Fard-ayn’ or absolutely obligatory upon every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated byAbu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise and your Hell!"

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Grave Sins’, and He (saws) replied, "They are:--

(1 ) To join others in worship with Allah,

(2) To be undutiful to one's parents,

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill)

(4) And to give a false witness."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan