Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am very upset these, you are my last chance! I know a boy since 2 year we r both in love but he said to me that his parents didnt allow to marry any girl who he likes!If he do so they will break up their parents realationship! He told me that he need time to think about it and find a solution for it, he should marry me or he should accept his parents advice! But im so worried that i dont know what to do? My family also didnt know about him.

Im a muslim but didnt pray 5 times namaz, but i m trying it to pray may allah have a solution for us! He doesnt speak well with me like 1 year ago, i think he is in tension. He just call me and dont speak frindly with me! Im so upset that i cant do nothing in this case. What should i do!I believe in Allah i know he will help me but i wont that his answear is no because i love him very much i cant loose him now! Please tell me what should i do now, i wont use black magic or something like that! Im really very upset cant think now clearly please help me out! I will wait for your answear if it possible then write me soon as possible!

I know that he love me but allah knows! But i know if i wil loose him one more person who im loving i will die!!!!

Please help me out !!!!!

Allah hafiz

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Love someone

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: What should i do!

Dear and Beloved sister in Islam, love-hate, like-dislike, joy-sorrow, smile-weep, etc. are natural emotions of mankind! What determines virtue and sin is what one says or does when one experiences these natural emotions!

To love someone is a natural emotion, and there is absolutely no sin if one loves another person; it is what one does and says after one has fallen in love with that person which would determine whether it would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah or a sin!

If one falls in love, and informs one’s guardians that they love so and so, and requests them to sanctify their love in the sacred bond of marriage so that they may love each other for the rest of their lives would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

But if one falls in love, and strives to meet or talk to the person in secret and in private, and in their love transgress the boundaries of Allah Subhanah before they are united in the sacred bond of marriage; then indeed it would constitute a huge sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Respected Sister, just as if someone were desperate to marry you but you did not wish to marry him, you would expect him to respect and honor your decision….likewise as much as you may like someone to marry you, if for any reason the person does not wish to marry you, there is very little you can or should do except honor and respect his decision.

Respected sister, as your brothers and well-wishers in faith, the best advice we can offer you in such a situation is to preserve your dignity and self-respect, and put your complete trust and belief in your Lord Creator Allah Subhanah wa Taala Alone…..and believe with total and absolute conviction if your Lord Wills for something to happen, no power on this earth can stop it; and if the Lord Wills for something not to happen, all of mankind and all of creation can strive together, but that thing will never come into existence!

Allah Says in His Holy Quran Chapter 35 Surah Fatir verse 2:

2 What Allah out of His Mercy doth bestow on mankind there is none can withhold: what He doth withhold there is none can grant apart from Him: and He is the Exalted in Power Full of Wisdom.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 160:

If Allah helps you none can overcome you: if He forsakes you who is there after that that can help you? In Allah then let believers put their trust.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verse 51:

Say: "Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us: He is our Protector"; and on Allah let the believers put their trust.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 17:

17 If Allah touch thee with affliction none can remove it but He; if He touch thee with happiness He hath power over all things.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 3:

And put your trust in Allah Alone; and enough is Allah as a Disposer of affairs.

Besides sister, it may be that you ‘think’ that you like someone or something, but in reality that thing might not be good for you….and it may also be that you detest a thing, but that thing is good for you!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:

216 ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah Knows and ye know not.

Respected sister in Islam, instead of deciding for yourself that only this particular man would make the best husband for you, it would be prudent for you to keep your full trust in your Lord Creator and beseech Him and Him Alone to guide you towards a path that is best for you in this world, and especially the Hereafter. And one amongst the best ways to seek the guidance of the Lord when choosing between lawful alternatives is to follow the Sunnah and practice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) by offering two-rakahs of the voluntary ‘istakhara’ prayer:

Topic: Salatul istekharah
It is aSsunnah that, if one must choose between permissible alternatives,
one should pray a two rakah Sunnah prayer, be they regular sunnah prayers or a
prayer for entering a mosque, and so on, during any time of the day or
night, and to recite therein whatever one wishes of the Qu'ran after
reciting Al-Fatiha. Then one should praise Allah and send salutations to the
Prophet (saws) and recite the following supplication which has
been recorded by Bukhari in Jabir's narration:

"The Prophet, peace be upon him, would teach us ‘al-Istikharah’ for all of our
affairs as he would teach us a Surah of the Qu'ran. He (saws) said 'if one of you
is deliberating over an act, he should pray two rak'ahs and say:
"O Allah, I consult You as You are All-Knowing and I appeal to You to give
me power as You are Omnipotent, I ask You for Your great favor, for You have
power and I do not, and You know all of the hidden matters. O Allah! If you
know that this matter (then mention it) is good for me in my religion, my
livelihood, and for my life in the Hereafter (or he said 'for my present and
future life') then ordain it for me, make it (easy) for me and bless it for
me. And if You know that this matter is bad for my religion, my livelihood
and my life in the Hereafter (or he said 'for my present and future life')
then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and ordain the good for
me wherever it be and make me be pleased with it."

(Allahomma Inni Astakheeroka Bi'ilmik. Wa'astaqdiroka Biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka
min Fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka Taqdiru Wala Aqdir. Wata'lamo Wala-a'lam.
Wa'anta-'allamul ghuyoob.

Allahomma In Kunta Ta'lamu Anna (Hathal-Amra) Khayul-lee Fi Deenee Wama'ashi
Wa'ajila Amri Wa'ajilah, Faqdorho lee, Wayassirho lee, Thomma-barik lee fih.

Wa'in Konta Ta'lamo Anna (Hathal-Amra) sharrul-lee Fi Deenee. Wama'ashi.
Wa'ajila Amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho 'annee. Wasrifnee 'anh. Waqdur
leyal-khayr Haytho kan. Thomma ardini Bih.)

There is nothing authentic concerning anything specific that is to be
recited in the prayer nor is there any authentic report concerning how many
times one should repeat it.
An-Nawawi holds that "after performing the’ istikhara’, a person must do what
he is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and should
not insist on doing what he has desired to do before making the istikhara.
And if his feelings change, he should leave what he had intended to do,
otherwise he is not completely leaving the choice to Allah, and would not be
honest in seeking aid from Allah's Power and Knowledge. Sincerity in seeking
Allah's Choice means that one should completely leave what one oneself
desired or determined."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan