Sperate accommodation wife.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
there
is a problem between me and my mother in low i dont know what to do if i do
right things also the feel that i am wrong i dont want to live them tell me
what to do
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Answer:
Sperate
accommodation wife house
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the
Sunnah, the wife has absolutely no duty and responsibility laid upon her by
Islam towards her husband’s family or ‘in-laws’, including the husband’s
parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, etc.
The responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife
is only towards making sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her
in every aspect of her life!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous
women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah
would have them guard (their modesty and chastity, the honor and
property of their husband, etc.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which
woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he
looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his
wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he
disapproves."
Thus, in essence, if a believing woman worships Allah
Subhanah as He Alone deserves to be worshipped, preserves her chastity, and
strives to the best of her ability to please her husband, the Messenger of
Allah (saws) declared that she will be given the honor to enter the
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her
chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
Having said that she has absolutely no responsibility
towards her husband’s family, does not in any way mean or imply that she is
allowed to be rude, or disrespectful, or dishonor them in any way. She must at all times strive to develop
cordial relations with her in-laws.
But if the believing woman does, of her own free will,
serves the parents or family of her husband, she would be doing a deed of
‘ehsaan’, a deed which would be over and above her prescribed duties and
responsibilities; and Allah Subhanah has time and again declared in the
Glorious Quran that He absolutely loves those believers who do ‘ehsaan’ or
deeds which are over and above their role of duty and responsibility.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 134 (part):
134 …. for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and
above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah
Ale-Imraan verse 148:
148 And Allah gave them a reward in this world and the excellent reward
of the Hereafter. For Allah loves the
‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 195 (part):
195 … and do ‘ehsaan’; for Allah loves the ‘muhsineen’ (those who do
deeds over and above their call of duty).
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 93 (part):
93 ….. For Allah loves the
‘muhsineen’ (those who do deeds over and above their call of duty).
The wife in Islam is absolutely under no obligation to
take care or serve her husband’s parents or family; the duty and ultimate
responsibility that the parents are served and well cared for is entirely upon
the direct off-spring of the parents.
But if the wife, of her own will and choice, wishes to go
over and above her prescribed duties and in her benevolence serves the parents
and/or family members of her husband, she would be doing the extremely
meritorious deed of ‘ehsaan’; and Allah Subhanah absolutely loves those who do
‘ehsaan’ or deeds over and above their prescribed duties.
If a husband is blessed with a wife who does ‘ehsaan’ and
serves his parents, he should be extremely grateful and thankful to her for her
superb gesture of benevolence and kindness.
Thus the serving of one’s in-laws would definitely be
amongst the ‘Nafl’ (extra) or over and above one’s prescribed duties and
responsibilities.
Your
Question: there is a problem between me and my mother in low i dont know what
to do if i do right things also the feel that i am wrong i dont want to live
them tell me what to do
If the wife, for whatever reason does not wish to live
amongst or with her in-laws, she is well within her rights in Islam to ask her
husband to provide a separate and distinct accommodation for her, and there
would be absolutely no blame or sin upon the wife if she chose to exercise her
lawful right of seeking a separate accommodation for herself and her children.
If the husband has the means, he should fear Allah and fulfill this lawful
demand of his wife and provide for a separate accommodation for her.
The right the wife does not have is to demand or expect
that her husband leaves his parents and comes and lives with her in the
separate accommodation. Whether to live
with his parents and serve them, or move to the separate accommodation of the
wife and live with her is the decision and choice the husband has to make for
himself.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister