Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

1)my question is that my parents in law alhumdulilah offer prayers five times aday pay regular zakat etc etc ....but whenever some one or our realtive comes to our home they behave like a miser.they just serve juice or coke and nothing else.i feel very ashamed of this .thats why nobody likes my parents in law.alhumdulilah there is no financial problem.and when i talked to them about this they said "muhaabat dil kay andar hoti hay aur in batoon say koi faraq nahi parta"i am very upset about this because i am not a miser and i want to respect a guest which he or she deserves.my parents in law fights with every relation .as there relatives are also my relatives i am in great trouble.i just try to say that forget about the past misunderstandings and laraie jagray and live like atrue muslim.but no one undersatnd me.meray husband sub samjtay hain but wo apnay parents kay agay majboor hain.app batayein kay main apni ankhon kay samnay sub kuch ghalt hota dekh rahi hoon.how can i be quiet.main bus chahti hoon sub mohabbat say rahain.kya meray susral ka attitude islam ki roo say sahi hay.aur kya mera khamoosh rehna sahi hay.?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Service to guests

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.156 Narrated by Abu Shuraih Al Kabi

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously: to provide them with a superior type of food for a night and a day, and a guest is to be entertained with food for three days, and whatever is offered beyond that, is regarded as something given in charity. And it is not lawful for a guest to stay with his host for such a long period so as to put him in a critical position."

Respected sister, it is an absolutely encouraged etiquette of a believer, and indeed an extension of one’s very faith in Allah and the Last Day, that one honor their guests who visit them, and treat them with utmost generosity.

Respected Sister, if the house belongs to your parents-in-law, then they are responsible for what transpires in their house. If, in your capacity as their daughter-in-law, you have warned them politely and with wisdom and patience, to fear Allah, do good to their kith and kith, and honor their guests with utmost generosity, then you would have deemed to have done your duty and rest absolutely assured that you will not be held accountable for their deeds in the Presence of your Lord Most High.

As wrong and as repulsive the actions of your parents-in-law against their kith and kin, and towards their guests might be in your sight….you must realize that this is their house, and they are the authority in their own house, and it is they alone who will be responsible and accountable for their actions and their deeds in the Presence of their Lord.

What should never happen is that you, as their daughter-in-law living in their house, supercede their authority…..or just because they chose to not treat their relatives right, or honor their guests as generously as you would have liked….to sever or spoil the cordial relations which you have with your in-laws.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan