Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam alaikum

i`m 28 years old and i have been married once,which was unsuccessful and ended in divorce. During the course of the marriage i did not sleep with my husband because i wasnt attracted to him. Through out the marriage and throughout my youth i have kept away from very strong sexual desires and its becoming really very diffcult to keep saying "no". I cant express to you how i continue to fight with myself in abstaining from sexual intercourse. I sometimes fear that if i dont find myself a suitable husband pretty soon then i could, like many others commit the biggest sin possible.

please please please help me i dont wish to commit this sin, but my body is really needy.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Urge to do Zina

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 23 Surah Muminoon verses 1-11:

1 The believers must (eventually) win through

2 Those who humble themselves in their prayers;

3 (Those) Who avoid vain talk;

4 (Those) Who are active in deeds of charity;

5 (Those) Who scrupulously guard their private parts,

6 Except with those joined to them in the marriage bond or whom their right hands possess, for (in their case) they are free from blame

7 But those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors

8 Those who faithfully observe their trust and their covenants;

9 And who (strictly) guard their prayers

10 Those will be the heirs

11 Who will inherit Paradise: they will dwell therein (forever).

Respected Sister in Islam, the urge to fulfill one’s natural physical desire is amongst the greatest trial during one’s period of youth and Islam has made the fulfillment of this natural desire lawful only through the institution of marriage.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Islam guides and encourages the believers to marry so that they may lawfully fulfill their natural physical desire and abstain from the unlawful; and if for any reason one is unable to marry the Messenger of Allah (saws) prescribed the remedy of observing fasts, as fasts help in diminishing one’s sexual power.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.481 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him."

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 79 Surah Naziat verses 34-41:

34 Therefore when there comes the Great Overwhelming (The Day of Judgment)

35 The Day when man shall remember (all) that he strove for

36 And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see

37 Then for such as had transgressed all bounds

38 And had preferred the life of this world

39 The Abode will be Hell-Fire;

40 And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (Tribunal) and had restrained (their) soul from lower desires

41 Their abode will be the Garden.

As huge as this trial of youth is, one should also remember that the reward for passing this great trial successfully is nothing short of Paradise!

Thus sister, if you are in a position to marry then seek the lawful institution of marriage and fulfill your natural physical desire; and if for any reason you are unable to marry at this time, then fear that inevitable standing of each individual at the Lord’s Tribunal, and strive to observe fasts as it will help diminish your sexual urge. But whatever happens and whatever it takes, do not even come near the evil doors of ‘zina’ (fornication)…..for that then would be a manifest loss in this world and the Hereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan