Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As-salam-Alaikum.

Brother, pls treat this question as urgent. A girl`s mother is forcing her to marry a guy whom she dont like and not attracted to. Is it obligatory to aceede to her request even knowing that she d be living a miserable loveless life with him? Secondly, his past life, had been colorful he himself admitted to adultry and drinking but says he has repented and quit those things but dont know he might be right or wrong. What should she do? Pls keep the email id confidential

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Answer:

Force girl to marry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….Is it obligatory to aceede to her request

If a girl is not wiling or ready to marry someone, it would not be righteousness on the part of her parents to force her to marry their choice….but rather they should seek a suitor whom both the parents and the bride approve of.

As much as Islam guides that the consent of the parents is vital to one’s marriage, the ultimate authority on whether to accept the proposal or reject it is the right of the bride herself….if the girl does not give her express approval to her marriage, that ‘nikaah’ will be considered void in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.67 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A matron (divorced or widowed woman) should not be given in marriage except after her permission; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The Companions (r.a.) asked, "O Allah's Messenger (saws), the virgin feels shy (to give verbal consent)" He (saws) said, "Her silence (would indicate her permission)."

Your Question: …..Secondly, his past life, had been colorful he himself admitted to adultry and drinking but says he has repented and quit…

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

If the guardians/bride are not absolutely convinced regarding the character and practice of religion on the prospective suitor, one should not give their daughters in marriage to such people.

But if one used to live one’s live in manifest transgression of the prescribed Boundaries of the Lord in their past, and one is absolutely convinced and verified to the best of their ability that the person has subsequently sought sincere ‘taubah’ and repented for his evil and amended his conduct, then Islam guides that one should forgive and overlook his past faults, and treat him as if he had never committed those sins.

If one looks in one’s own past, one will find a multitude of sins one might have done which the Lord Most Merciful has screened from being exposed…..Just as one wishes that the Lord would forgive them their past sins, it would only be piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah if one were to forgive and overlook the past deeds or their repentant believing brother/sister in faith.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 22:

……let them forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan