What are the obligations of a husband to his wife?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Aasalamo
Alaikum
I just
recently subscribed onto this website and recieved a hadith to my email. It was
regarding the duty of a woman to her husband...
Like I
understand that you should obey ones husband and be respectful to all that is
his, but- forgive me if i am wrong, or correct me on my misunderstanding- but I
have always heard of this. What I do not understand is that what are the duties
of a husband towards his wife? Like, she is doing everything to please him, but
what is he doing to please her?
What
if ones husband says to his wife to do something but she does not wish to do
it, does that mean she absolutely has to obey? what of the husband, can the
wife ask him to do something? is he obligated to do it in return for her, as
she is doing everything he asks of her?
Obviously
I am asking this in the point of veiw that the husband/wife are both devoted
believers. May
I
always find that the wife must please her husband to enter Paradise, but no
where do I find that the husband must please his wife- it is mind boggling and
sometimes I think that is unfair in some ways, and sometimes I think that maybe
it is written someplace that I have not come across...
I
don`t know...
I just
wish to know, what are the obligations of a husband to his wife? What are his
duties to her? Does the husband have any duties to his wife (other then the
ones where he must protect the chastity of his wife)???
Thank
you..
JazakAllah
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Answer:
Equal balance duties man woman
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the righteous women are
devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have
them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)
The complete financial responsibility of the upkeep and
maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and duty of the
men in Islam. It is the responsibility
and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women.
It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure
that food is provided to the womenfolk and family in their care, that clothing
is provided for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.;
Although the complete financial responsibility in running
the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it
is also his responsibility and he will be held accountable by the Lord to take
measures to maintain and protect his family to the absolute best of his
ability.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar
The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of
you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under your
ward). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man
is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a
guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a
guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of
you are guardians and are responsible (for those your wards)."
Thus in essence, the two main duties and responsibilities
of the husband for which he will be held accountable in the Presence of the
Lord is to provide for the financial upkeep and needs of the family, and as a
responsible leader, guardian, and caretaker of the family. For example if the wife (or their children)
openly disobey the Command of Allah Subhanah like not praying, or not fasting,
or not wearing the ‘hijaab’, or wearing indecent clothes, or practicing
‘fahisha’, etc.; and the husband allows this disobedience taking place under
his leadership without so much as striving to stop it, he will be held
accountable for his lapse of duty for those under in care.
My dear and beloved sister, the above are the direct
answers according to Islamic Law regarding the prescribed duties and
responsibilities of a husband in marriage; but the sacred institution of
marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each
other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a sacred union between two people who
complement each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love
and mercy between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their
marriage, and strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and
tranquility under the fear and guidance of Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no
better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with
one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252 Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358 Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been
permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have
ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284 Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends
for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she
may be occupied in baking bread.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Your Question: I
always find that the wife must please her husband to enter Paradise, but no
where do I find that the husband must please his wife- it is mind boggling and
sometimes I think that is unfair in some ways, and sometimes I think that maybe
it is written someplace that I have not come across...
I don`t know...
Allah Says in the
Glorious Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 36 (part):
…and the male is not
like the female!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 228 (part):
228 …... And women shall have
rights similar to the rights against them (in a marriage) according
to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them,
and Allah is Exalted in Power Wise.
Allah Subhanah declares in His
Glorious Quran that the male is ‘not like’ the female, and although the woman
has similar (not same!) rights as her husband in a marriage, The Lord Most
Majestic, in His Supreme Wisdom and Knowledge has given or bestowed upon one
more advantage than the other.
Dear and beloved Sister, the confusion and disillusion starts when one tries to make something which has been created as ‘balanced’ to a thing ‘equal’! Contrary to popular belief, men and women are not created equal by the All-Wise, All Knowing Lord; but rather, they are balanced! For example: a kilo of apples and a kilo of bananas are balanced in weight, but the two are not equal!
For the test period of this one transitory life, each spouse has been given a set of duties and responsibilities by Allah Subhanah best suited according to their bestowed nature. It would not only be unjust, but absolutely incorrect and unfair for a society to treat as ‘equal’ what the Creator has declared as unequal but balanced! The so called modern-educated but ignorant and un-Godly societies which have tried to challenge and reverse the bestowed nature and declare the men and women as equal rather than balanced have paid an enormous price in the forming of their families, their relationships, their homes, and in their lives!
The societies which have
propagated the ‘equality’ amongst the sexes have obviously not understood the
nature of the man and the woman like the One Who Created their nature! The Creator has bestowed on the man and the
woman ‘balance’ so that they may complement each other; but the ignorant and
un-Godly society insist on making them ‘equal’ so that they may ‘compete’
against each other!
Your Statement: I
always find that the wife must please her husband to enter
Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, in this particular
aspect of the life of this world, The Lord Creator has indeed created an
interesting ‘test’ and ‘trial’! If one
studies this ‘test’ in light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, one
will find that it is a never-ending triangle….
Amongst the absolutely obligatory duties of the wife in
Shariah is that she be devoutly obedient to her husband in all his lawful
commands…if indeed she desires
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286 Narrated by Umm Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her
chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of
But absolutely nowhere in the Quran or the Sunnah one will
find a statement which implies that if a husband were to obey his wife, he
would enter
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined
on mankind (to be good) to their parents: in travail upon travail did his
mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command)
"Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah
Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said,
"Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I
have come to consult you. He (saws)
asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said,
"Stay with her, for
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah
I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom
should I show kindness most?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother.’ I
asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’. I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws)
replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in order of
relationship.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda
… that he had heard Allah's Messenger (saws)
say, "A parent is the best of the gates of
The keys to a wife’s entry into Paradise is through the
obedience of her husband; but when the same wife is blessed with motherhood,
she is the one who holds the keys of her off-spring’s entry into Paradise! Thus as much as the wife might like or desire
to hold the keys of her husband’s entry into
Thus the All-Just All-Wise Lord creates an amazing balance
in the ‘trial’….the woman’s (wife) entry to Paradise is dependant upon her
behavior with a man (her husband); and a man’s (son’s) entry to Paradise is
dependant upon his behavior with a woman (his mother)!
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister