Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am a married with more than 18 years because of my wife insulted me for my economic reason in this case I don`t have love towrds her asw she has humilated me I want marry someone a widow or divorced waman for that should I ask the permission from my first wife?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Permission from first wife to marry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: …..she has humilated me I want marry someone a widow or divorced waman for that should I ask the permission from my first wife?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice: two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice

The one and only condition Allah Subhanah has laid upon the believers who wish to exercise their lawful option of marrying more than one wife is that they are absolutely just amongst their wives in the distribution of their time and their resources amongst them. There is absolutely nothing in the Quran nor in the authentic Sunnah which stipulates or puts a condition that a believer needs the prior permission or consent of his first wife before he marries for a second time.

Beloved brother in Islam, you are well within your rights to exercise the option of marrying more than one wife, if indeed you wish and choose to do so….and you definitely do not need to seek the permission or consent of your first wife to do so. But as your brothers and well-wishers in faith, our humble advice to you is not seek to marry another woman only to revenge or punish your wife for something she might have said or done in the past!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Rum verse 21:

21 And among His (Allah’s) Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He (Allah) has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’

Amongst the Signs of Allah Subhanah is that He has put ‘love’ and ‘mercy’ for their spouse in the hearts of those who are bonded in the sacred institution of marriage; and Allah and His Messenger (saws) have time and again guided the believers to show liberality towards their wives, their relatives, and their loved ones.

It would be akin to piety and righteousness on your part if you could bring yourself to forgive and overlook the deed/s of your wife which might have hurt you….just as you would wish that Allah Subhanah would forgive and overlook your own misdeeds.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 22 (part):

22 …..let them (the believers) forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

Thus in conclusion brother, you are well within your rights to exercise the option of marrying more than one wife, if indeed you choose and wish to do so; and you definitely do not need the prior permission or consent of your first wife…..but fear Allah, and do not do so only as a means of revenge and punishment for a mistake or an error your wife might have done towards you in the past.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan