I am married muslim girl, my husband cares for me.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalam-o-Alaykum,
I am
married muslim girl, my husband cares for me but his past is a biggest threat
to our relation, he cheated on me, he had a very deep relation with someone
after marriage. I have forgiven him but most of the time its in my mind and I
cannot offer him my best. Pls Help me...
Your
Sister.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Forgive husbands past
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, if you feel that your
husband is truly and sincerely repentant over his manifest transgression of the
Boundaries of Allah Subhanah by developing an unlawful extra-marital
relationship out of marriage….realizes the grave injustice he has done to you
in your marriage, realizes the enormity of his sin in the Sight of Allah
Subhanah and is sincerely repentant…..and you can bring yourself to give him
another chance by forgiving him the injustice he has done towards you….not only
would such a decision be a means of earning rewards for you from Allah
Subhanah, but it would save your marriage.
Just as one wishes for themselves that Allah Subhanah may forgive
them their sins, Allah Subhanah guides the believers to forgive and overlook
the faults of their near and close relatives.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah
Noor verse 22:
22 …..let them forgive and overlook: do you not wish that Allah should
forgive you? For Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most
Merciful.
But if you feel that your husband is unrepentant at his
manifest transgression, and there are chances that given a chance he may do the
same again…..or if you cannot bring yourself to forgive him for his betrayal to
your rights in your marriage….you are well within your rights to seek a divorce
from him, and there would be neither blame nor sin upon you.
Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, as difficult as it may
be for a wife to forgive the betrayal of her husband in the past…..the guidance
of Islam dictates that either you absolutely bring yourself to forgive him and
fulfill unto him all his due rights in marriage; and if you cannot bring
yourself to do that, seek a divorce and separate yourself from him. But to constantly doubt his every move or
word, or to constantly hold him guilty for his past sin even after he has
repented, or to deny him his due rights in the marriage, etc. would severely
affect the marital relationship that is expected from the pious and God-fearing
believers in marriage.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan