Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamuallikum

im a very religious girl allhamdullila, im not getting married coz im very religious,i cook well, im well qulified and actully have a job ,im very fair .my family wants me to change at least a little so that i get married. now i have decided that if i dont get a religious parttner i wont get married, is this allowed in islam and can i go and live my life seperate as my brother is not getting married because of me beeing present in the house is this also allowed in islam

please tell me

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Answer:

Marry early

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps them lower their gaze and guard their modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes their sexual power."

Your Question: now i have decided that if i dont get a religious parttner i wont get married, is this allowed in islam

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, as much as Allah and His Messenger (saws) have encouraged the believers, men and women, to marry as early and as soon as they possibly can….there is absolutely no compulsion or obligation upon a believer in Islam that he/she must get married; for marriage is considered a preferred ‘Sunnah’ and thus voluntary, and not an obligatory act in Islam.

Thus if one amongst the believers, for any reason, wishes to delay their marriage or remain unmarried until they find a suitable partner, there is absolutely no harm, no obligation, and no sin upon them. But if one fears that they will not be able to restrain their natural sexual desire, or fears that their delay in marrying would tempt them or take them towards the unlawful….then it would be best for them to get married as soon as possible; for marriage helps one to lower their gaze and guard their chastity.

Your Question: my brother is not getting married because of me beeing present in the house is this also allowed in islam

For a brother to remain unmarried until his sisters are married, or for a younger brother or sister to abstain from their marriage until their elder sister has married, etc. are pagan customs which have unfortunately crept into some muslim societies! Such pagan customs and rules have absolutely no basis or validity in Islam.

The brother, if he wishes to get married, should marry regardless of whether his sister is married or not; and it would not be righteousness in Islam for the brother to delay his marriage only because his sister has not found a suitable partner, or she has chosen to remain unmarried.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan