Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalaamu alaikum,

brother burhan,

if a person takes a divorce in this case khula, is a women required to do iddat? wat is the right way of doing so? also why do women hav to return mehr? wat if the female is poor wt a kid who is terminaly ill who wud take care of them if she has no support? is there any facility to protect divorced women?

awating ur reply

ur sister.

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Answer:

Khula iddah and alimony of divorce woman

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: if a person takes a divorce in this case khula, is a women required to do iddat?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228:

228 Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods; nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day.

Regardless of whether the husband gives a divorce to his wife, or a wife initiates the divorce (khula), the wife shall observe the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of three monthly courses….that is the Command of Allah Subhanah, the Most High and is binding on every woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day.

Your Question: wat is the right way of doing so?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verses 6-7:

6 Let the women live (in 'iddah) in the same style as ye live according to your means: annoy them not so as to restrict them. And if they carry (life in their wombs) then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring) give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.

7 Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty Allah will soon grant relief.

The wife has the option to observe her waiting period of ‘iddah’ of divorce in the house of her husband, or any other place she wishes….and it is the responsibility of the husband to provide for her financial upkeep during this period of ‘iddah’.

There is no specific restriction on a woman observing the ‘iddah’ of divorce, except that she cannot marry another person until after her period of waiting or ‘iddah’ as prescribed by Shariah has elapsed. After her ‘iddah’ period has elapsed, the wife is free to marry anyone of her choice, if she wishes to do so.

Your Question: also why do women hav to return mehr?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 20-21:

20 But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another (by giving divorce to the first wife) even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21 And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?

Islam declares that if it is the husband who has pronounced the divorce, it is not lawful for him to take back absolutely anything of what he has given his wife, even if it were loads and loads of wealth and gifts.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229:

229 A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives (if the husband is the one who gave the divorce)) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom (if it is the wife who has initiated the divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons are the wrong-doers.

But if for any reason it is the wife who wishes and initiates a divorce (khula), if the husband wishes, he may demand that she pay back the ‘mehr’ he has paid her; and if he wishes, he may opt to take only a part of it, or even forgive it all together. To demand or take back or forgive the ‘mehr’ after one’s wife has divorced her husband, is entirely upon the decision of the husband.

The wisdom behind this command of ‘mehr’ in Islam is to protect the rights of both the man and the woman.

The man is commanded to pay his bride the ‘mehr’ at the time of marriage, and it is also his duty and responsibility to bear the financial burden of the marriage, ‘walima’ feast, gifts, etc. If this condition was not ordained, any man could go and marry a woman without paying a penny, spend a night or couple of nights with her, fulfill his desire with her, and then divorce her…leaving the poor woman high and dry! Thus to protect the rights of the woman, Allah Subhanah has commanded that the man pay a substantial ‘mehr’ to his bride at the time of marriage, bear all the expenses associated with his marriage…so that if he ever decides to divorce his wife, he will bear a substantial financial loss upon himself, knowing fully well it would be unlawful for him to recover even a cent after he pronounces a divorce.

Conversely, because it is the ordained duty and responsibility of the husband to bear all the expenses of marriage like ‘mehr’, ‘walima’ feast, gifts, etc.; some unscrupulous woman could marry a man, take the ‘mehr’, gifts, etc., and instantly divorce the man, leaving the man high and dry! But if the woman knows that she will have to return back the ‘mehr’ if she initiates the divorce, she will think carefully before initiating a divorce.

Your Question: wat if the female is poor wt a kid who is terminaly ill who wud take care of them if she has no support?

Regardless of who initiates the divorce, and regardless of who holds custody of the child, Islam has commanded that the complete expense for the upkeep of the child till he reaches the age of adulthood will be borne by the husband alone.

Regardless of whether the divorced wife is rich or poor, Islam has not prescribed a ‘alimony’ for the divorced wife, neither is the husband responsible for her upkeep or expenses in the least, unless she is pregnant. If the wife is pregnant at the time of the divorce, the husband is responsible for her upkeep until she delivers the baby.

Your Question: is there any facility to protect divorced women?

The ‘blood-family’ is the facility provided by Islam for the protection of women. If a woman is divorced by her husband, or she initiates a divorce and separates from her husband, the responsibility of her financial upkeep falls upon the shoulders of her father, her brothers, her uncles, etc. Alternatively, the divorced woman always has the option of marrying another person after the fulfillment of her ‘iddah’ or waiting period; and thus the duty and responsibility of her upkeep would be borne by her new husband according to his means.

Thus Allah Subhanah has ordained a complete facility for the sustenance and protection of the women from her cradle to her death; from her birth until her marriage, her financial upkeep and protection is borne by her father/guardian; after marriage her financial upkeep and protection is the responsibility of her husband; if the husband dies, she inherits a part of his wealth; and if the husband dies and leaves behind a son or sons, it would be the sons’ duty and responsibility to provide for their mother until her death!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan