Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salaam brother

i would like to find out, even if our parents have found out everything they can about the family and the person if it is ok to chat over the phone or even meet with the person that you are going to marry on several occasions to get to know them before the nikha.

i know in islam there are boundaries between male and female interactions, but is it ok for the purpose of marriage to get to know someone i would appreciate it if you could answer this for me

thank you

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Lawful to meet and talk with fiance

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Jaber related that the Prophet (saws) said: ‘When one of you seeks a woman in marriage let him look at whom he wishes to marry.’

Related by Abu Dawood

Mughirah ibn Shu'bah narrated: ‘I sought a woman in marriage. The Messenger of Allah (saws) asked me :’Have you seen her?’ I said : ‘No.’ He (saws) then said: Then look at her, because it is more proper that love should be cemented between you.’

Related by Ahmed, Ibn Majah, Nasai, and Trimidhi.

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, the Messenger of Allah (saws) encouraged the believers who wish to marry to see, or even meet and talk if they wish to do so with the girl they are contemplating marriage, provided the girl is accompanied by her mehram guardian like her father, or her uncle, or her adult brother, etc. There is absolutely no harm in such interaction, provided both parties fear Allah and they sincerely intend to marry each other.

But both parties should fear Allah and absolutely abstain from meeting or talking alone without the presence of the girls mehram amongst them, for that leaves the door wide open for the Shaytaan to play his mischief.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan