Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I like boy and he`s of other religion. He is a born Sikh and yet does not believe in it strongly. I understand that relationship between a muslim and non-muslim is not accepted in Islam, but with the open and multi-racial, multi-religious society we live in, we can`t help ouselves but to mix around or befriend with others (out of Islam). We love each other and plan to get married. We have been in this relationship for the past 3 yrs. And in this 3 yrs of courtship, topics of converting to Islam has been a rough one. There were agreements and disagreements, but now, he understands my position of a Muslim women and agrees to convert before marriage.

My concern is this...will Allah accept our relationship before marriage (although he is willing to convert)?

We plan to get married and follow the ways of Islam. But we can`t as yet, as we have resposibilities to our families first. So for the next 4 years or so, we are hoping to still be in the relationship before marriage. Will I be punishable for that?

Both of our parents agrees of our relationship. I respect him as a person and him to me. Will that be enough?

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Muslim girl relationship with sikh

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and Beloved Sister, Islam is indeed the most secular religion or ‘way of life’ in the world, which absolutely allows its followers to live peacefully within its multi-racial, multi-religious society, provided the believers are not prosecuted for their belief in the One and Only Lord. What Islam has absolutely declared forbidden is extra-marital sex (zina), regardless of whether one lives in a believing society or a multi-religious society. And when something is declared forbidden in Islam, all roads that lead one to that path of sin are also deemed forbidden in the sight of Allah Subhanah. Because of the inherent nature of man, and the natural physical attraction bestowed by the Creator between man and woman, the intimate befriending of a non-mehram person of the opposite sex is definitely one of the paths that lead to illicit relationships; and regardless of religion or race, the formation of any intimate relationship between two non-mehrams of the opposite sex is absolutely forbidden in Islam.

Your Question: My concern is this...will Allah accept our relationship before marriage (although he is willing to convert)?

Dear and Beloved Sister, Allah is the Truth, and He accepts nothing but the truth. If two non-mehrams have involved themselves in a close or intimate relationship, regardless of their race or belief, this relationship would be in transgression of the permissible, and a grave sin in the sight of the Lord.

The bestowed nature of man is such that he is prone to error; and what the Merciful Lord does accept is every person’s repentance, provided the person believes in Him, admits his mistake, seeks sincere forgiveness for his transgression, and makes a solemn pledge with the Merciful Lord never to repeat the mistake again. It is expected that the Lord would turn towards such a person in Mercy and Grace.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

What the Merciful Lord does not accept is the transgression of His Laws and Commands, and He does not accept the repentance of those who intentionally continue to commit sin and seek repentance only when faced with the stupor of death!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 17-18:

17 Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in Mercy; for Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.

18 Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil until death faces one of them and he says "Now have I repented indeed"; nor of those who die rejecting faith: for them have We prepared a punishment most grievous.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, although you have not specifically asked us to comment on the conversion of your non-muslim friend; it is our duty as your brothers and well-wishers in Islam to make you aware of the situation at hand.

If the person indeed genuinely wishes to convert to Islam, genuinely wishes to follow the Commands of his Lord and Creator, and of his own free will submit to the

Will of the Lord All-Mighty; he will indeed be recognized and welcomed as a brother in Islam in this world and the Hereafter. All the rights that are due to believer will be accorded to him in full; he can marry a believing woman, he can visit the Sacred House, his children will be deemed muslims and they will inherit from him, he will be given a muslim burial at death, etc. Every single right that is given to a muslim will be accorded in full to the brother, and he will be recognized as a believer in this world and the Hereafter.

But, if in your opinion, the person is only declaring the ‘testimony of faith’ in order to facilitate the legality of the Shariah Law and becoming a muslim only so that he can marry a believing woman; you should be aware that although the person and those who encourage him thus will get away with it in the life of this world, they will be held severely accountable in the Just and Supreme Court of the All-Mighty Lord for making a jest and a mockery of His Laws. Thus, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in Islam, we urge you not to go ahead with your marriage with the person unless and until you are absolutely convinced the person is converting to Islam because he believes in it, and not because conversion would legally facilitate his marriage with a believing woman!

Your Question: We plan to get married and follow the ways of Islam. But we can`t as yet, as we have resposibilities to our families first. So for the next 4 years or so, we are hoping to still be in the relationship before marriage. Will I be punishable for that?

The only legal relationship that is recognized and accepted between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex in the sight of Allah Subhanah is marriage or ‘nikaah’. Thus if you are absolutely convinced that the person is converting to Islam because he believes in it and you want to continue the relationship, then the one and only righteous way would be to perform the ‘nikaah’. There is absolutely no harm if one has responsibilities or for any valid reason wishes to consummate his marriage four years after the ‘nikaah’.

But if two people who are neither mehrams nor married, continue their relationship, it will be deemed an illegal and an absolutely illicit relationship in the sight of Allah Subhanah and a severe punishment would await those who intentionally disobey the Laws and Commands of the All-Mighty, All-Powerful Lord of the Worlds.

Your Question: Both of our parents agrees of our relationship. I respect him as a person and him to me. Will that be enough?

If a believer lives his life within the declared boundaries of Islam, has the consent of his parents, and respects and honors the person they wish to be legally united in the sacred institution of marriage; it would indeed be deemed enough and worthy of earning a great reward from Allah Subhanah in the life of this world and the Hereafter.

But if a believer lives any aspect of his life in the intentional transgression of the boundaries of his Creator, regardless if the whole world is pleased with the relationship; that relationship or deed will never be acceptable in the sight of the All-Mighty Lord of the Worlds, and a severe accounting would be due to such a person in the life of the Hereafter.

In conclusion, my dear and beloved Sister in Islam, the only righteous things you should do now are:

Seek sincere repentance and forgiveness from your Merciful Lord for your past deeds of transgression of His Laws.

If you are absolutely convinced the person is converting to Islam because he believes in it, and you have your parents consent, then seek to perform the ‘nikaah’ with him as soon as possible.

And above all, whatever you choose to do, fear Allah Subhanah and the Last Day; it is expected that Your Merciful Lord will guide you to the Path that is good for you in this life and the Hereafter.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 120: Eschew all sin open or secret: those who earn sin will get due recompense for their "earnings."

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 31: If ye (but) eschew the most heinous of the things which ye are forbidden to do, We shall expel out of you all the evil in you, and admit you to a Gate of Great Honor.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan