Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother in Islam

I am a mother with only one son. My 18 years son has gone to further his studies outstation. Recently I heard that he is under going a Love affair. Do you have any Motivation Quotes relevent with Islam that I can advice or send sms to him. I am really worried because he can`t concentrate his studies.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Son in love

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

It is only natural that when one reaches the age of understanding and puberty, one is by nature attracted to the opposite sex. Islam has recognized this natural inclination of mankind and allowed man to fulfill this natural need and desire through the sacred institution of marriage.

Beloved Sister, it would be best for you not to be strict or use force or coercion to subdue your son’s natural inclination for during this delicate age, the scales of emotions are stronger than the scales of wisdom and reason! It would be best if you could tackle this issue with extreme wisdom and patience, and if at all possible, get him married to the girl he loves and let him continue his education.

Beloved Sister, the time to prevent such a situation from ever happening is not when one’s child is 18 years of age, but rather when the child is seven or eight or ten….for that is the time when one has complete access to ones child and that is the time when the parents or guardians must invest in their children so that they recognize their Creator and His Laws, the permissible and the forbidden, and the obedience of those Righteous Divine Laws are engraved upon their hearts before the world has the opportunity to corrupt their innocence. Had it been engraved on the child that it is impermissible and displeasing to Allah Subhanah for one to develop a relation out of marriage, or that the righteous way if he did like someone was to inform his guardians to unite him in marriage with that girl….he would not have taken steps to form a relationship with a non-mehram girl. When a parent leaves or ignores this prime responsibility until one’s child has reached adulthood, they become helpless to prevent what transpires in the life of their children; and despite all their well-wishes for the well being of their off-spring, life takes its natural course and all they can really do is wait and watch and hope for the best.

Beloved Sister, it is not my intention at all to dishearten you, and I do hope that Allah Subhanah blesses your beloved son to give weight to reason rather than emotion, and do deeds that are pleasing to his Creator and to his parents. The Glorious Quran and the sayings of the Messenger of Allah (saws) are overflowing with motivational quotes full of wisdom; but rather sending specific quotes and taking the path of direct confrontation with his ‘love affair’ it would be considered wisdom on your part to guide and encourage him to read the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (saws) with understanding….and at all times you remain constant in your supplication for the well-being of your beloved son in the Presence of the Lord Who is All-Hearing and All-Seeing, and beg and implore Him day and night to guide your beloved son to the Right Path of Al-Islam.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan