Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam o alikum

I hope u dont mind but i am getting married i just had to ask my question is do i have to have sex the first night of my marrage and if i say no to my husband would the mean that i am being mean to him.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Sex on marriage night

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Beloved sister in Islam, there is absolutely no obligation or condition in Islam that the couple have to conjugate on their wedding night; it is entirely upto the married couple to decide when they wish to enjoy their conjugal relations.

But if one of the partners in marriage desires or invites the other to enjoy conjugal relations with them (on the wedding night or otherwise), it would not befit the other to turn their invitation down.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan